Correction

I stand corrected from a sentence of expression from my St. Patrick's Day post. I targeted my friend Kady in using the phrase "Ivy League of Kindergarten" when referring to Cranbrook. I was wrong. It wasn't Kady. It was her friend Brooke. Whoopsie. She'll be receiving my Lahser Soccer bumper sticker, not Kady. Because it is Lent, I'll give her another chance.

Friday aren't all ways Fundays

Yuck day at work. Bad weather. Ugh. BUT, my daffodils bloomed and I'm going to happy hour. Nothing like watching Dave's co-workers throw a few back while I sit back and watch. Happy Friday.

Shamrocks and Shenanigans

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

I spent this beautiful afternoon staring at the freaks who hang out on Kirkwood in Bloomington while noshing on a burrito. It was awesome. I saw a husky, a dog in a stroller, a girl with neon orange hair, and several beautiful gay couples holding hands. All in all, it was a good day. I'm sure St. Patrick himself would be happy.

I've noticed some of my blogs have majorly misspelled words. I'd like to address that: It isn't my fault. I think when I make the corrections the blog isn't saved correctly. I'm a stickler for spelling words the right way---any other way is shameful. I do apologize, but take no responsibility for it.

Highlights:
1. Beautiful 73 degree afternoon.
2. Hearing New Kids on the Block during my drive home.
3. Tomorrow is Friday.
4. The Red Wings are in first place in their division (suck it, Blackhawks).
5. I think my boobs are done growing for the week---bonus.
6. Jake Gyllenhaal is single again---double bonus.
7. Maggie and Cieran's Irish Extravaganza is this Saturday. Whoo hoo! Nothing like being sober at an Irish party. I'll bring the whoopie pies.

Lowlights:
1. My white trash neighbors.
2. I realized how ghetto my car looks when its parked on the street.


Double snaps to my friend Amanda who had a beautiful baby boy today....Weston Matthew. He is in great company, celebrating his birthday on St. Paddy's Day.

Triple snaps to Dr. Katie Whorf-Maloy, who was matched at her #1 choice, Georgetown Hospital. I am so proud of you! I can't wait til you graduate in May and become Dr. Meredith Grey!

Oh, before I forget. I have a particular follower who called Cranbrook the "Ivy League of Kindergartens" on her blog. I stand sorely disappointed. Not only does Cranbrook churn our douchebags, but my high school ALWAYS beat them in EVERY sport, except for lacrosse. Regardless, public education in Oakland County Michigan is FAR superior than any private school there. With that being said, I'm going to send this particular reader a "Lahser Soccer" bumper sticker, hoping that she'll change her mind before young Jack, excuse me, her child turns 5. Be warned.

Colorado Day

Today seemed to be a refreshing reminder that spring is around the corner. I came home and the pups were ready to inspect the yard for vermen and I was ready to do my ritual "garden walk." (This is when I take about 10 minutes and stare at my various flower beds. I look for new growth, bugs, weeds, etc. I seriously do this every day, regardless of how long I worked in these beds the day before. I suppose it is a bit insane, but I love my garden.)
Here is what I found....
(**Note: I'm not a professional gardener or photographer. I know I need help. I'm learning.)

These are daylilies and daffodils (darker green, straighter presentation).

Early blooming daffodils next to peonies, and weigela.

The pups during an inspection. This area is a prime squirrel playground.

More daylilies.

I love spring because it is a nice way of getting people ready for our unbearable hot summers. I also enjoy seeing what comes up after transplanting and newly planted specimens from the late summer/fall. I'm sure I'm going to devote several entries to my garden as it continues to grow.
(Also, the onset of spring means Easter is coming, which means more Whoppers in the candy aisle. Just saying.....)

Our bathroom is almost finished. All it needs is a good clean and a painted sealing and we are done! That happens this weekend. Thankfully, I'm "allergic" to painting, so Dave will take care of that.

No list, Highlight, or Lowlight of the Day----the weather is too nice. It was so nice, my sunroof was open and the Steely Dan was blaring. All I needed to make a perfect "Colorado Day" was companionship from my friends Jimmy and Adrienne, a cold Corona, flip-flops, and a lawnchair. Praise Jesus.

The Aftermath

I'd like to take this time to advise and support my friends and followers who watched the Bachelor last night. DO NOT FEEL GUILTY BECAUSE YOU WATCHED. This is how I look at it: There is enough stress in our lives---kids, student loans, home improvement projects, getting laid-off, family drama, etc. Do not beat yourself up because you participated/watched a terribly lame show that revolves around someone finding their "soul mate." Fortunately for this season of the Bachelor, Brad was hot. The women? Not too skanky. We take what we can get. NOW, with that being said, I will not offer the same support for those folks who watch Bachelor Pad 2. This show is complete trash and filth, like spring break times twenty. It goes for great television, but again, you will not grow intellectually from watching it, OR become a better partner to your spouse/significant other. Don't tell me I didn't warn you. (Trust me, you'll become addicted. Just ask Adrienne Keeble Petersen and her spouse, Aaron.)

Trainwrecks and Car Crashes

In lieu of last night's Bachelor trainwreck, I am dedicating this blog to all the "losers" from the ABC series.....all the Chantal's and DeAnna's. I could not have asked for better television last night.....the black feather dress, the veneers, smudged eye makeup, use of the word "forever, " and most importantly, dumb questions asked by Chris Harrison. (FYI, he has the best job EVER. He gets to ask people lame questions and restate and state again the obvious. I could totally do that. However, I understand no one ever wears sweatpants on those shows.)

I've been experiencing a bit of writer's block lately. I'm trying to get re-inspired, though I've been struggling. Thankfully, the Bachelor has reinvigorated by sarcastic spirit. I now look forward to future blogs that critique (make fun of) the hot messes on reality television shows like the Real Housewives of________(name your city), Bachelor Pad, Real World, as well as my favorites: One Tree Hill and 90210.

On a side note: Snaps to Kady Becker who finished a maternity leave on Monday. She was brave enough to survive the trenches of someone else's classroom and students, providing a loving, healthy, and educational environment. It is unfortunate that her bitch of a maternity leave teacher could not be more gracious in Kady's efforts. Lucky I wasn't there for the re-welcoming ceremony. Now she can focus on more important things like her son Jack, Tiger baseball, and Red Wing hockey.

I've also "that I am no longer going to take fashion advice from women who "wear" a belt in the hopes that no one will see their muffin top. Sorry sister, the belt won't help. It's called find a bigger pants with a larger inseam, stop wearing pantyhose with open toe shoes in the winter, buy some spanx, buy a better bra, invest in a thong (to eliminate VPL), and most importantly, don't judge me. It is hard to find super cute/inexpensive pregnancy frocks. I enjoy my leggings and tunics and Uggs. So, to those women: Fuck off.

List of the Day:

Things about the Real Housewives of Orange County I don't understand:
1. Their fake hair/extensions that look really fake. Don't they have the money to find a stylist that can "style" their weaves?
2. Time. These women seem to have all the time in the world, yet, their children are all sorts of messed up, except for Vicki's daughter, Breana. She has a real job.
3. Sparkles. It is sunny enough in Southern California. There are frigging sparkles on EVERYTHING.
4. Their husbands are gross. Yes, some of these women are mildly attractive and their husbands look like they were scrapped from the WalMart ceiling.
5. They drink.....every day. Does that constitute alcoholism?
6. They go out to eat some much and they are all skinny. Do I smell anorexia/bulimia? That would make for AWESOME television. Lifetime Network eat your heart out.

Highlights:
1. My daffodils are about to bloom.
2. I saw bags of mulch for sale at Kroger. I love "landscaping" season.
3. I only threw up in my mouth once last night during the Bachelor. That is quite an accomplishment considering the Bachelor had a a personality similar to a wet piece of paper (with a hot ass body).

Lowlights:
1. It isn't Friday yet.
2. I still have one more week of school before Spring Break.
3. Sandal season is coming up and my toes look like sausages.
4. There is no salad bar at my neighborhood Kroger----that is my new obsession.

Washing Machine on Wheels

ONLY on the southside of Indy would one see (while driving no less) a washing machine strapped to an open trunk of a Taurus. (NOT a van, truck or SUV, but a Taurus sedan.) I wish to God I had my camera. AND, the driver was driving real fast---how's about if that washer flew off the back and you were in its path? Awesomeness.

Now I'm going to discuss a very touchy subject for me----THE BACHELOR.

I've been mildly obsessed from season to season. This is a secret I don't like to share, even with my closest friends. Dave is aware and is embarrassed that he picked a person like me (Bachelor/Bachelorette/Bachelor Pad obsessed).

I've been following the spoiler blogs and I suspect Mr. No Personality Brad will choose Emily. She is a hot southern tart with a sob story and surely a hidden eating disorder. Sadly, Chantal with the personality will be packing it in early. I am sure she'll be on Dancing with the Stars soon enough. It is too bad Brad is smokin' hot with ribbed abs and a 401K----He could of had his chance with me in late summer of 2002.

Oh, and another thing----I would like to start campaigning for Kid Rock. I think he'd make the next presidency awesome. Bad Ass beer for everyone, as well as Lions tickets and lots of Leo's Coney Island. I saw his interview on Piers Morgan and he was awesome. Mitch Daniels can suck it.