In light of several friends blogging/posting/discussing fertility issues and having babies, I suppose I should bring my readers to light on G's case and my current state of non-pregnancy.

It has been 19 months since Greta's delivery and I am content with the status of my body (i.e. not peeing on myself).  While I have not attempted REAL exercise---going to the gym, running, doing a step tape, mountain biking, I am much more active that I was a year ago.  I still have more moments than none, where I am worried about the strength of my lower half and what is going on down there.  More often, I have serious anxiety about what will happen when the time comes to really try to get pregnant again.  I worry about the latter stages of pregnancy when the baby is sitting atop your bladder and you have to pee every 20 minutes.  I worry about my hips moving to facilitate a baby and how that will affect my nerves.  Thankfully, I have it on record from two of my doctors and one physical therapist that my next pregnancy will end in a c-section.  Thank the Lord.  While I am all about going about the ol' V way, it is clearly no  longer for me.  Dave and I have been discussing much more how many kids our future holds----To be honest, I have much more fear about actually carrying a baby than raising one---I am also very worried about Greta's future.  Now that she is 19 months old, we have pretty much nailed down the issues related to her birth.  While the future is always up in the air for any human, all the things that could have happened, have happened----balance issues, strength issues, seizures, coordination issues, muscular issues in her hands and feet.  She is still developing her cognitive and speech skills, which don't seem to be too much of an issue now.  I like to think better that birthdays are better milestones.  When she hits two, it is time to go back to the drawing board and compare her to her peers.  She is finally gross motor appropriate for her age, though she still struggles with her fine motor, balance, and coordination.  She also drags her right foot ever so slightly, which may be a result of her toe positioning.  Regardless, she is doing well.  I was instructed to wait TWO YEARS before another pregnancy.  At first I thought this was not enough, but at 24 months, hopefully G will be potty trained and easier to communicate with.  She'll be acting more like a real person instead of one that needs CONSTANT supervision and assistance.  I can't imagine having kids less than 2 years a part.  NUTS. 

I am also very interested to find out if G's delivery will affect my fertility---it is hard to actually get a scope of damage that accompanies any V delivery, let alone a complicated one.  While we were blessed with no problems getting pregnant with G, again, I am interested to see if my parts are still in working order.  Again, a conversation that isn't normal for most women under 40. 

I am thankful for my amazing Mommy friends, who have always been supportive of my anxiety and frustration with my birth experience.  I am more thankful for my friends who have been open about their struggles with pregnancy, parenting, and body issues and decided to write/blog/talk/post about them. It  is nice to know you can be honest about real issues and not try and hide them or feel embarrassed about them.