Tats

So my pal Anna Cathleen Westwood Brillhart got her first tat. It is very tasteful and very meaningful. Way to go Anna! Way NOT to get some lame-oh animal on your lower back, which basically would act as target for negative/skank comments. She had "Kayla" scribed on her wrist in Hebrew---a very powerful response to being named Godmother to her besties unborn twins. Kayla, the girl, is having a hard time. Doctors say it would take a miracle to survive this pregnancy and birth. So Anna, being the mindful Christian woman she is, had that tat done as a reminder of God's power and Kayla's strength. Tear. I'm proud to be Anna's friend.

This got me thinking........Jennie and Dana each have an array of body art. I don't. I've been thinking about it for years, though never grew the ovaries to do it.......I have three specific things in mind and I'm sure Dana and Jennie would do them with me.......not sure if Dave approves. He, being the perfect person he is, has no piercings or tats, nor will he engage in such behavior. HOWEVER, I think I could convince Big Jim Norton, head of the Norton Clan, to do it with me....we shall see.

Thoughts?

Norton Ohana

The Norton Clan----all present and accounted for!

I miss the Mitten

I ventured to our friendly neighbor to our immediate north, Michigan, last week. I went home to visit my grandmother who just had open heart surgery, as well as catch up with my pal Kady. Kady is almost 6 months pregnant with a girl and I couldn't be more happy for her! She has a son, Jack, who is 1.5 years of age and a total handful. Sans Jack, Kady, my mom and I had a great lunch at Sweet Lorraine's in Berkley and did some shopping at the cute shops nearby. We stopped to take a snapshot at this store, The Yellow Door. This store was fabulous because there were LOTS of Michigan gear in there---photos, jewelry, etc. Good times. I had a great visit---they always seem too short, but it was great to see my Ohana and a good friend. Oh, and I was sure to drink at least ONE Oberon while I was home----if you haven't tasted Bell's Oberon, I highly recommend doing so. It is a delicious way to celebrate summer and support the Michigan economy. However, my new favorite beer is Leinenkugel's Sunset Wheat. SO GOOD. Now that Kady is 6 months prego and ALMOST into her 3rd trimester, I hope she takes advantage of at least one Sunset Wheat while the weather is still warm.


On a different note, I posted this on Facebook, but I felt I didn't emphasize position well enough. SO, I met my trashy neighbor today-----her son, we'll call him Satan, was spotted three days ago trying to pour gasoline on Biscuit. So, this lady and her 4 year old terror were outside trying to fix their broke-down 4-wheeler. She was unaware that gas cans left outside in the 100 degree heat can create major problems, and the closer her son gets to Biscuit, the more pissed off she'll get. Clearly, she's not playing with a full deck. (The woman allows her son to rip all of my other neighbor's flowers out of the ground.) So, once again, sterilization is a must for some folks. Also, she may have been sporting a lazy eye.

The End of the World

So, I just read a forward from an unidentified family member that basically preaches that there is a "concerning" matter in regard to our family's safety in the near future. NO, it isn't a Mafia hit (although my Grandpa Charlie was half Italian and had the dashing looks to go with it). The email basically read as a warning about "celestial activity" and some mumbo jumbo about not flying on 9/11 (I won't, because there is a Lions game on), and having 5000 worth of cash on hand. Needless to say, I laughed out loud until my Kegels stopped working and I had to run to the bathroom.

I will say this is extremely embarrassing knowing a family member seriously believes in this junk and takes the time to send out a lengthy email about it......NOT OK. NOW, if I received an email about some Wikileak site about how much George Bush spent on strippers while serving as President, I'd be more than happy to read it-----

I had to blog about it because it was just that ree-donk-u-lis. A few parting words: Give me a fucking break, you can't pick your family, and go Lions.

Technical Difficulties

LONG BREAK. We've been having some modem issues for the last week. And no, I am not able to "tap" into my neighbor's wireless. Sorry for the lapse of postings.....I'll be sure to update all my readers (all 3 of them) tomorrow on my trip to MI, our Fort Wayne family reunion and Adrienne's visit to Btown. My parting quote from my trip to the farmer's market this morning:

"I'm gonna breed my pitbull, because all my four kids' mommas said they could each have a pup."

And there you have it. Bloomington awesomeness.

Mitten Bound

Holler! Greta and I are headed to el' Mitten for some Ohana time with Pepe and Nona, as well as Kady Becker and the Wills'. We are hoping to get some special great-grandparent time with O.G. Pepe and Grandma Monforton, depending on Grandma Mofo's health. She had open heart surgery last Friday and is doing better. Not sure if she is well enough for the wrath of Ms. Greta and all of her charm and sparkles. I definitely plan on indulging in some quality MI cuisine, which includes Olga's, Leo's, and possibly Sweet Lorraine's. I am not counting out Pepe's grilled classics, accompanied by an Oberon or a Leinenkugel's Sunset Wheat (my new favorite beer). Regardless, if we make it the six hours, we should have a swell time while I'm there. I desperately miss Michigan summers, so I'm hoping to get my fill in only a few short days.

Side note: Bach Pad 2 is not as good as the first one. Way less drama and train wreckage, but I am getting a small fill of reality television drama.

Extra side note: I heard the Tigers want to release Magglio because he's hitting some sloppy spaghetti at home plate......I say give the guy a chance. He's one of the few right fielders that actually acknowledges his fans during a game with simple waves, smiles, and quiet banter. Sadly, I won't be visiting Comerica during my Mitten visit. Maybe next time. Greta is ready for a hot dog.

Puppy School

Everyone is tired after puppy school, even Greta. (Actually, she was bored watching the Republican debate.....Hopefully, her liberal apple won't fall too far from her Momma's liberal tree.)

Mitten Love

I went to Kroger today and met a fellow Michigander. She was from Alpena (way north), and was starting grad school. Awesome. Like my friend Kady, I'm going to start "tracking" something. I am going to start "tracking" fellow Michiganders. So, today, I was successful in meeting one person from Michigan. That is my goal. One Michigander a day (that is, when I venture outside the house).

Also, it was 80 degrees today, so that made me happy. Greta got some shots. That made me unhappy.

Bach Pad 1, revisited

It was much cooler today than the last 3 weeks. I'm thinking I'm ready for apples, football, Thanksgiving, and my Sorel boots (which NEVER EVER EVER go out style).

Bachelor Pad 2 was on last night. I'm thinking the first season was better. More trainwrecks, silicone, tequila, and PDA. My kind of television. Greta WILL NEVER go on a show like this....she'll be too busy studying at law school, playing World Cup soccer, or studying for her Medical Boards.

We heart the Irish

Maggie and Ciaran Byrne so kindly stopped by our crib the other to have a nice visit. We ate popcorn, talked about all things Irish, discussed Los Angeles skanks, and fawned over Greta. A great night. More importantly, Bachelor Pad 2 premieres tonight. So. Excited. If you don't understand, go to Youtube and check out old episodes. It is like crack. You betta' recognize.

MSCL

I'd be lying if I said I had something to write about....I don't. So, I'll write about my current obsession with the Sundance Channel showing My So Called Life reruns. Addicted. I look forward to these episodes whenever I have a free moment.....that is, if I'm not doing laundry, dishes, holding a two-legged mammal, pumping, or sleeping. Fun times. I highly recommend catching up on this show. The entire 1-season show is on Netflix.

Post pregnancy brain is the worst. I feel like I lost my funnies....and my flat stomach. Don't worry, the cellulite sticks around. Awesome.

The Natives are Restless

The college kiddo-coke heads return to IU next week. Dear God, pray for us. Sigh......

Post Baby Bod

I just read an article on www.people.com about some skank with her "Post Baby Bod." This is a lie and a travesty. First, it has been two months for me and I still feel like bread dough....all over. Secondly, I suppose if I had 4 trainers, a cook, a nutritionist, and 4 nannies, I could like like Jessica Biel too. Bitches.

The 90's are back in style.....

Debbie Gibson and Tiffany were on the View this morning. I need to get out my stone washed, tapered, and pleated jeans out of the closet......oh, and my Electric Youth perfume.

White Trash Watching

Greta and her Pepe watching the Brickyard. While I would usually object to her watching such filth on television, she was under careful supervision. Note: Pepe is wearing a St. Joe tee-shirt.....I hope the alumni office pays attention. Maybe she'll get free tuition when it is her turn to attend SJC as she pursues her dream of becoming a powerful attorney, successful entrepreneur OR the President of the United States.

Actually, Greta is NOT watching the Brickyard......she's watching the fan......one of her FAVORITE hobbies.

Michigan is Frigging Awesome

Dave, Greta and I ventured to our friendly American neighbor to the North, Michigan, this weekend. I was super excited to return to my homeland, creating a "meet and greet" with Greta's great grandparents', the O.G. Mofos. Pepe and Grandma were very excited to meet their newest grand baby.

Do you see Verlander pitching in the background? We set up this snapshot REAL nice-like.

She doesn't usually like this position, but since it was her Great-Pepe, she gladly took one for the team. Notice her ballet slippers? Those are from Kady's mom, Ms. Shirlee.