Quadruple snaps to my friend, Kady Becker, and her new baby Josephine Elizabeth! Ms. Josie made her debut this morning---Kady was a total rockstar and did it au natural! (While I would pass this as no big deal, it is a big deal because I know Kady and she rules). I cannot wait to go back to the D. and have my first visit with Josie and love on her!

Since the snow arrived yesterday, I am once again missing living in the mountains. I miss skiing so much----while I'm sure my fat ass would actually crack a pair of skis right now, I'd kill a small animal to ski tomorrow.

And finally, a new season of Teen Mom is upon us. Brace yourselves for the carwrecks on top of trainwrecks.

To add to my previous post, I will forever enjoy Mariah Carey's original Christmas album, because it keeps our spirits alive that she'll one day return again as a kick ass singer with hints of Gospel flavor and mild trashiness. Unlike her image today, I enjoy the classy Mariah. None of this Lollipop Bling garbage and marrying a man 16 years younger (who also happens to be a complete douche). That is all.

We are finally home after (literally) 3 weeks on the road. I am completely over I-69. Seriously.

More importantly, the holiday season is upon and I couldn't be happier. Why, you ask? Two things: Mariah Carey's Christmas album and a little known Hallmark Movie Channel gem called "The Christmas Gift." To get you in the spirit, here you go:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yXQViqx6GMY

Apparently "fashion sandals" are all the rage in Bloomington. Note to my readers: it was 46 degrees today, and I saw WAY too many people wearing capri pants, flip flops, and short sleeves. A secret pet peeve of mine: Folks NOT dressing for the weather. Don't think I haven't dusted off my down coat, Sorel boots, and ski hats. I'm ready for winter. (Also, winter apparel is cool because it will (does) hide all my hamburger delicious. If you don't know what hamburger delicious is, here is how you learn:

1. Stand up, and let your arms hang down at your sides.
2. Carefully, squeeze your arms closer to your body.
3. If there is a squish area on the lateral sides of your gluteus maximus, you have been anointed with hamburger delicious.

And finally, I am experiencing true sadness because my sister's wedding weekend spectacular is over. However, I can look forward to the next several weeks of cheesy Christmas movies, as well as the Lions/Packers game on Thursday. I'm tellling you, they have a chance. Believe!

Lastly, Justin Verlander won BOTH the Cy Young Award and the AL MVP. That's what I'm talking about. (See picture above.)

Dr. Kathryn Shannon Whorf, M.D. My sister from another mother.

Jennie's weekend of wedding awesomeness is coming to an end. It was an amazing affair---lots of laughing, eyeliner, netting, maxipads, and margaritas. I'm sad it is over. The highlight of my weekend: Looking into the wedding audience and seeing Greta sporting her red dress, backwards.

The world tour continues tomorrow......

Greta and I will be heading to Chicago-land where Jennie will marry Chris.

We will have a new addition to our Ohana. Yep, that means two things: One more person officially taking part in the sweatshirt exchange on Christmas Eve and one more person that Dad rely on to fix broken stuff around the house. Doug is super pumped.

The Norton World Tour

Dave, Greta, and I have been on a world tour. We started last week in Chicago. This past weekend we were in Cleveland and Fort Wayne for Dave's cousin's wedding. It was a great weekend. We saw snow for the first time this year and it was great! We had some delicious Polish food at Sokolowski's University Inn, which is a Cleveland institution. YUM.

Apparently, Michelle Duggar is pregnant again. This woman already has 19 kids. I think it's time to call it a night and lock it up. Good God.

Greta and I had a great visit with my twin in Chicago this past weekend----Jennie is getting ready for her upcoming wedding and we were there to assist her (in our sweatpants). She was on the fence if Greta was going to be a part of the ceremony, but she is not (Greta was going to be pulled in a wagon). Greta is fine with this because she doesn't want her drooling, pteradactyl noises, or fat rolls deterring from Jennie's moment.

Conrad Murray is guilty?!?! Sure, but so is Michael Jackson. He was a junkie and probably had a death wish. When I have trouble going to sleep, I turn on the television, rub Beans' ears, and drink a cup of hot tea. I don't drink a gallon of "milk."

And finally, Kim K. headed back to MN to have "closure" with her husband. Poor guy. I have a great idea! He should be the next Bachelor. Then, we could see how lame his personality REALLY is. (Actually, he and Kim are the perfect couple after seeing her lackluster personality on television.)

Just when you think the day (and weather) couldn't be any crappier, you head to Walmart and see all the trainwrecks that hang out there----

Also, my sister posted a FB message about NOT watching Animal Cops: Detroit. While I agree it is the saddest show on the planet, there are moments of happiness (when the puppies get adopted). I have said this before, those folks who beat, starve, and abandon their animals should be stoned to death. Especially if they mess with the puppies. Not. Cool.

I am super excited for another season of Real Housewives of Atlanta. Everyone loves a hot-mess-Southern-Belle. The word on the street is that Kim married herself an Atlanta Falcon with a nice toosh. Well, good for her. I've got me a nice man who is an analyst at Cook. Oh snap.

Greta was called "him" twice yesterday. I acknowledge her hair is a little bit crazy, but when a baby is sporting a pink onesie, all signs point to "girl."

I saw a cover band last night with my friend Mags, and thankfully they rocked some Hall and Oates tunes. Finally a band that recognizes greatness. I'm hoping the next time I see them, they'll have some Phil Collins on their set list.

And finally, I received a message from my sister-from-another-mother, Katie, that her stepfather has been diagnosed with colon cancer. Please send positive vibes/thoughts/prayers to Buzz as he begins his fight to eradicate the cancer. Cancer sucks the big one-----

Hollywood Trainwrecks

After much thought over the course of the last 24 hours, I have decided to finally make a statement about Kim Kardashian's nuptials: No one fucking cares. Actually, I do kinda care. Here is why:

I am sick and tired of celebrities mocking the sanctity of marriage. Getting married is a HUGE deal. You promise (usually in front of the church and all of your friends and family) that you will love, honor, and respect your spouse for the rest of your life. When folks enter this union with money on the brain, it completed exploits this covenant. I understand the whole Vegas thing---fun, spur of the moment, blah blah. But when folks have a priest, flower girls, a florist, a baker....it is a big deal. When Kim Kardashian pimped the E! Network to televise her wedding, I knew it was going to be a three ring circus. I, of course, was right.

She is now filing for divorce from her (what seems to be) semi-normal husband. (He's from Minnesota, his parents are still married, he has two dogs that he loves, he has a college degree. All signs point to normal.) This poor schmuck is laughing all the way to the bank, having earned over $250,000 per day that they were married. As a viewer, I feel like I've been "had" because I actually watched, when it seems that this whole marriage was a sham. Oh, and it lasted 72 days. My fall allergies usually last longer than that.

Poor Kris Humphries. Shame on Kim K. She should stick to what she knows---wearing spanx, giving blowjobs, and acting stupid.

On a side note: Dave and I decided NOT to dress Greta up in a Halloween costume. Rather, she enjoyed her night bouncing and listening to LMFAO in her pajamas. Next year, she wants to be Cher from the "Turn Back Time" music video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mEszTzdUMcY