Turkey Day, Thanksgiving, whatever.

I am going to get right down to business with this blog. I am very disappointed with the Lions.

Dave and I were super pumped to see the Lions play the Patriots on Thanksgiving Day. The Lions game on Turkey Day is a HUGE deal in Detroit---The Parade, tailgating, crazy Pilgrim costumes, drunk fans---it is awesome. I went into the stadium thinking the Lions had a serious chance at beating Tom Brady's team. Going into the second half, my hopes continued. THEN, things started to go downhill. Fast. Well, two Patriots touchdowns, and one interception later, Dave and I called it quits. We left with 3:45 left in the game. I was pissed off, hungry, and annoyed. UGH. Not a happy camper.

Once again, the Lions totally let me down. It didn't help that they had several injuries affecting their playing roster. I make excuses because I can't muster the courage to say what everyone else is saying: They suck. THERE! I SAID IT! (I am hoping that Bill Cowher steps forward and says he wants to take on this team and turn it around. Mr. Keeble would argue with me on that one.)

Dave and I continued our tour of Detroit to enjoy a needed Thanksgiving feast, to put out our depressing "loss flames." We enjoyed a great meal at my Uncle Marty's house. Great apps, great potatoes, great conversation (thanks to zero discussion about the election). We then continued the tour to my Uncle Toby's to enjoy a much needed bowl of Grandma Mofo's stuffing. At Marty's, then prepare Paula's dad's stuffing----it is so good, but involves apples. Grandma's is the good stuff: pork, veal, bread. No monkey business. Clearly, she does NOT mess around. Good Canadian women don't mess around in the kitchen. Pork. That's all I'm going to say.

Thanksgiving was a great way to kick off the hallerday (holiday) season---I look forward to decorating the house, watching bad Christmas movies, and lots of baking (and more Lions losses).

Happy Thanksgiving. Oh, one more thing: I'm pregnant.

Seriously?!?! Another Loss?!?!?!

The Detroit Lions. Let's discuss:

For a long time I've listened to nay-sayers talk smack about the great city of Detroit and their football team. I've been patient, I've been considerate, and I've been supportive of The Pride. However, the tide might be turning. I've been ridiculed enough----Honestly, the Lions do suck. I know this. I never wanted to believe what national newspapers were saying, or the dudes on Sportscenter. But, I'm starting to believe now. They suck. Their coach sucks. I'm beginning to think Matt Stafford may be hype---he's been hurt most of the season. The back up is hurt, and the back up to the back up has tried his darndest. Well, apparently, it's not good enough. It's just plain sad.

Detroit has been a city of folks that has been supportive of their sport teams---we have much to celebrate with the Red Wings. They are one of the winningest teams in NHL history. The Detroit Tigers are one of the oldest teams in baseball (even though they haven't won the pennant since '84). The Pistons put Detroit back on the map a few years ago---they may have another slump this year, but they surely aren't the Lions. I've just now realized what it feels like to be embarrassed by a football team I root for.

Dave and I are attending the annual Thankgsgiving Day game at Ford Field. The Lions will be playing the New England Patriots, a powerhouse team led by a Wolverine (Go Blue!). Kid Rock is playing at halftime. I'm hoping I don't start puking into my own lap before halftime looking at the scoreboard. I pray for miracles every day and a Lions win on Thanksgiving might have to be one.

www.prideofdetroit.com

JV/Varsity Engagement

Not only does the Hallerday (Holiday) season bring about festive decor and fantastic cooking, it also spawns lucky-in-love couples to get engaged.........SO, I am celebrating the first engagement of the season:
Katie Whorf (J.V. Doctor extraordinaire) and Dr. Kevin Malloy (Washington, D.C.'s version of Alex Kurev, Varsity Emergency Room Physician)!
Katie and Kevin are a match made in Hosptial Heaven.....they love to cook, travel, spend time with friends....AND, they will produce brilliantly intelligent children.
Needless to say, the Norton Clan is very happy for them. Kevin will be attending the Annual Monforton Shitshow at Casa Mofo this year. He is currently doing some extra stretching, brushing up on his 80/90's pop culture, and lifting weights to prepare for the onslaught of medical questions, and possible political conversation. I wish him luck, even though he won't need it. He's a doctor for God's sakes. Doug will be ever impressed.
Katie has been a surrogate sister/daughter for the Mofo's for some time now. I'm so happy that she has found her Dr. Prince Charming, especially on the heels of Kate and William's engagement.
I am hoping Joey will gladly approve Kevin's invitation into the Circle of Trust/TeeShirt Gift Exchange on Christmas Eve. Joey has full veto powers, as he has turned down several folks in the past. HOWEVER, I will surely lobby on Kevin's behalf to expedite this process.
Cheers and Happy Engagement to Kevin and Katie!

Baby It's Cold Outside

Cue the bells.......sound the trumpets........put away those open toe shoes........it's that time of year again..........CHRISTMAS! I love Christmas! (Not so much in celebration of the birth of Christ, but rather the gaudy sweaters, cheesy movies, amazing baked goods, and fantastic decorations.)

Yesterday, I awoke to a nice layer of frost on the lawn, an icy windshield, and slippery steps. Winter is approaching. That can only mean two things for me: More clothing, and snow. Loves it.

I wait patiently each year after fall for the slow and steady approach of "the Hallerdays. Yes, Hallerdays." This time is marked with all of the Mofo herd coming home to good ol' Deh-twah, Mom's beef barley soup, and Dad getting pissed off about "the damn weather." I love it. I will get to see my brother, Joey, for a full week this year with his new wifey, Kelly (who kicks so much ass, it's not even funny). Last year we all made it home before Christmas for some quality time together----this usually entails minor screaming fits about who made a mess, who is making dinner, and what sports event to watch on television. Most of our stress subsides after the 8 o'clock hour, when it is time for cheesy Christmas features such as "The Christmas Gift" starring John Denver, or a Mofo favorite, "Elf." ("Buddy the Elf, what's your favorite color?")

Beans and Biscuit will be making their lists in the next week for Santa Claus to review. Hopefully this year Beans will not ask for her little sissy to be sent back to FedEx in the hopes of a new nest or a large bag of raw cow femur sections.

Dave will be utilizing the ladder to today, as he will be directed by me to hang a beautifully designed light installation to help Santa find his way to our house. Beans and Biscuit are of no help. I plan on using all white lights for that fresh, crisp, Martha Stewart look. I'll save the blinky, flashy, colored, mixed bulb look for our children in future years. Once kids arrive, it is TOTALLY ACCEPTABLE to create an alien landing pad with Christmas lights, ala' Clark Grizwald style. I've discussed this at length with Dave, and he agrees. No time for those shenanigans this year.

On a brighter note, the prospect of purchasing a newer vehicle is dawning. Dave's Nissan sucks and with the winter approaching, I don't like to take chances. At this time, I'd like my blog readers to think happy thoughts about the prospect of a winning lottery ticket for me. This would furnish us with a newer whip, a new kitchen, and payment of my newly issued speeding ticket from Fort Wayne last week. Amen.

Monforton-Nortonism of the Day: When folks are sporting down coats and gloves, it really is time to put away the open toe espadrilles. I don't have time for that look, nor does it look good. Also, just because there is roadkill on 37, it does not give drivers the right to slow way down----the animals are already dead.

Happy Holidays!

Cancer Sucks.

I went to visit my friend Kady's mom today at University Hospital. She had a double mastectomy after bravely battling breast cancer this year. Mrs. Clevenger looked great! After major surgery, she was upbeat and incredibly kind. I had never met Kady's mom, but I thought it was appropriate to offer my support since Kady is in Michigan (and I'm in Indiana).

I've decided that cancer officially sucks. After seeing first hand how physically challenging it is to deal with, I've had enough. Supporting causes that are working to find a cure for breast cancer is now at the top of my charity list. (The Humane Society and independent dog rescues are now at #2 and #3.)

Shirlee Clevenger, you are a brave lady. Keep up the fight. The Norton clan supports you!

For more information about breast and gynecological cancers:
www.savethetatas.com
www.komen.org
www.wcn.org

Detroit, what.

I made a trip home this weekend to enjoy the company of my family, including Dr. Katie Whorf. Katie is finishing her final year of medical school at George Washington University and is hoping for a rockin' OB/GYN placement for the summer. She is going to be an amazing doctor.

I had a great dinner at Katie's mom's house in Keego Harbor. The house has this amazing effect on people----its like being Up North. Love it. It is even better in the winter. Snow, great conversation, Van Morrison on the radio, wine, sweatpants....it brings warmth to my heart.

I also spent some time with my Pepe (grandfather). We usually meet at his house in Grosse Pointe and head down to the Eastern Market, a weekend favorite. Several bags of produce later, we head over to Louie's for breakfast. A very nice Albanian man, Mark, owns it. He is what the American dream really is----came here, started a business from the ground up and now is a successful restaurant owner. Louie's is a Detroit institution. Great food, great people.
After breakfast, Pepe decided we were going to take a different route to get back home, heading through "the ol' neighborhood." My dad grew up on the East side of Detroit, near Chandler Park. He attended St. Ignatius for grade school and then went on the Austin Catholic for high school. Sadly, they are both closed now. Driving down his old street, it became very apparent how desperate and sad the city of Detroit really is. My Pepe said he would never take my grandmother down Corbett Ave., knowing she'd cry at the sight of the burned down or boarded up houses. In the early fifties, the East side was a great place to raise a family. Safe streets, great neighbors. These days, one would not dare drive down these streets. It was really hard to look at his face as he passed by houses he once knew-----now, the street numbers hang off the facade, windows are broken, garbage in the driveways. It was really sad. I started to think about my own feelings of Detroit, which I still consider my hometown. While I spent most of my childhood north of the city, I was born on the East side--St. John's Hospital. I am proud of my Mack and Outer Drive address. I get warm and fuzzy reliving my childhood listening to Tiger games on the radio announced by Ernie Harwell. I remember going to Belle Isle to feed the ducks, and summers spent attending the Boat Races on The River. Today, the economy, the Lions, and bad press aren't helping the situation. However, I still believe in a city that once was. I pray everyday that the leaders of Detroit will get their act together, putting their agendas aside to rebuild a city that used to be a beacon for business and culture.

No likey computer virus

I hate my computer! It has a virus. I blame LimeWire. I am only able to blog when Dave brings his work computer home, so here we go. Let's do a post game wrap-up of the week:

1. Cold weather brings warm clothing. Only a moron would sport a tank top/jean short ensemble when its 25 degrees outside. On the west side of Bloomington, this is the fashion. I saw two douchebags yesterday trying to pull this look off----apparently, they didn't get the memo. Idiots.
2. We've had a special visitor for the last few days: Wrigley Miskewycz. She is a 7 year old yellow lab who is so sweet. She loves Beans and is not too fond of Biscuit. Biscuit tried to herd her---Wrigs no likey. Sadly, she goes back to her real family tonight. She has very soft ears and that is all that matters.
3. I started cleaning out the basement. I have discovered a wealth of bags---book bags, cosmetic bags, tote bags, soccer bags----I have NO idea where they came from. Goodwill should be happy with our projected donation.
4. T-minus 18 days til Thanksgiving. You know what that means? Lions football, Grandma Monforton's stuffing, and Ohana time.
5. Together with almost 50% of my Marian teaching class, we came together at Champps to celebrate 5 years of success/distress from our various teaching experiences. Only about 5 out of 14 of us are teaching. Sad. It was great to see everyone---it was nice to know no one has changed. I definitely missed Brad's laugh----it was really great seeing everyone.

Monfortonism of the Day: Just when the weekend couldn't get better, it can. Michael Vick will hopefully get his sh*t handed to him by Peyton Manning----this would make for a GREAT Sunday. I hate Michael Vick. He hurts puppies. The Colts defensive line better bring the fury and thunder.