Cue the bells.......sound the trumpets........put away those open toe shoes........it's that time of year again..........CHRISTMAS! I love Christmas! (Not so much in celebration of the birth of Christ, but rather the gaudy sweaters, cheesy movies, amazing baked goods, and fantastic decorations.)
Yesterday, I awoke to a nice layer of frost on the lawn, an icy windshield, and slippery steps. Winter is approaching. That can only mean two things for me: More clothing, and snow. Loves it.
I wait patiently each year after fall for the slow and steady approach of "the Hallerdays. Yes, Hallerdays." This time is marked with all of the Mofo herd coming home to good ol' Deh-twah, Mom's beef barley soup, and Dad getting pissed off about "the damn weather." I love it. I will get to see my brother, Joey, for a full week this year with his new wifey, Kelly (who kicks so much ass, it's not even funny). Last year we all made it home before Christmas for some quality time together----this usually entails minor screaming fits about who made a mess, who is making dinner, and what sports event to watch on television. Most of our stress subsides after the 8 o'clock hour, when it is time for cheesy Christmas features such as "The Christmas Gift" starring John Denver, or a Mofo favorite, "Elf." ("Buddy the Elf, what's your favorite color?")
Beans and Biscuit will be making their lists in the next week for Santa Claus to review. Hopefully this year Beans will not ask for her little sissy to be sent back to FedEx in the hopes of a new nest or a large bag of raw cow femur sections.
Dave will be utilizing the ladder to today, as he will be directed by me to hang a beautifully designed light installation to help Santa find his way to our house. Beans and Biscuit are of no help. I plan on using all white lights for that fresh, crisp, Martha Stewart look. I'll save the blinky, flashy, colored, mixed bulb look for our children in future years. Once kids arrive, it is TOTALLY ACCEPTABLE to create an alien landing pad with Christmas lights, ala' Clark Grizwald style. I've discussed this at length with Dave, and he agrees. No time for those shenanigans this year.
On a brighter note, the prospect of purchasing a newer vehicle is dawning. Dave's Nissan sucks and with the winter approaching, I don't like to take chances. At this time, I'd like my blog readers to think happy thoughts about the prospect of a winning lottery ticket for me. This would furnish us with a newer whip, a new kitchen, and payment of my newly issued speeding ticket from Fort Wayne last week. Amen.
Monforton-Nortonism of the Day: When folks are sporting down coats and gloves, it really is time to put away the open toe espadrilles. I don't have time for that look, nor does it look good. Also, just because there is roadkill on 37, it does not give drivers the right to slow way down----the animals are already dead.
Happy Holidays!
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