Dear Kroger Coupon Gods:

Just when I thought my day couldn't get any worse, no thanks to Enterprise Rent a Car, I was reminded of God's grace.....
Walking through the baby aisle of the Maplecrest Kroger on the Northwest side of Fort Wayne, I noticed tiny pieces of paper sticking out of random shelves.  I slowly realized they were coupons, strategically placed by the item (to use the coupon with).  After collecting more than 12, I realized THEY WERE GOOD COUPONS.  Not just the .$25 off an item, but $1.00 off an item that is usually marked $1.29, etc.  Yep, I hit a gold mine.  Diapers, wipes, a sippy cup, Organic fruit puree squeezers, Johnson and Johnson face wipes----yep, that and a bottle of margarita mix and some cookies---my total:  $19.23.  So thank you, Coupon Gods.  I understand your Grace is offered to those in times of need and depair.  I thank you for recognizing my distress on this SHIT of a day we call Tuesday.  I thank you for easing my anxiety about calling Enterprise for the seventh time, only to be regarded as an ornery customer, who is ignorant to Enterprise polices.  Praise Be to the Coupon Gods.  I will continue to worship you, calling upon your magical powers and continuing to defend your strength even to those non-believers.

(I also know Coupon Gods exist because I watched the season premier of Extreme Couponing last night.)

Sincerely,
The Monforton Norton

It should also be noted, I will be taking down Enterprise Rent A Car from this moment on.  I do not care how long it takes, I will reach their CEO, demand an apology, and hopefully get free rental car service for the rest of my life (and not just get the shitty Chevy Aveo each time).