BOO!

Happy Halloween!

Dave and I did start our Halloween a bit early---we attended the I.U./Northwestern football game on Saturday. We were scared by how bad the I.U. defense really is------I was excited to sport a super tacky I.U. hat and an awesome red and white striped scarf (compliments of Darien Miskowycz's Baba)----

This morning, Sunday, I needed to start scaring myself early so I turned on The Haunted bright and early (after an 11 hour sleep). The Haunted is featured on Animal Planet which is a bit strange, but I guess animals are super sensitive to paranormal activity so it would be only fitting to have it on Animal Planet. Most of the episodes I saw this morning involved a spirit affecting animals in a residence. I felt better knowing my little Reanie Beans and Bisco were nearby in case of a potential haunting. Sometimes they scare the crap out of me when they start barking in the middle of the night. But then again, I'm thankful Beans has a nasty bark which will surely scare away any intruder/trashy neighbor.

We are going to pass out candy at our friend's house tonight---we have lived in our house for 3 years and have yet to have ONE trick or treater. Sad.

Monfortonism of the Day: After college, dressing like a nurse (whore) is totally inappropriate unless it is amateur night at the local strip club.

Hocking Hills

It has been over a week since my last post. SORRY! Dave and I enjoyed a great vacation to the Hocking Hills of Ohio. It was a great trip. Dave's parents accompanied us. Lots of hiking, lots of biking, and several creepy houses. We stayed in an old pastor's house next to a church erected in 1846. With an early 1800's cemetery just 200 yards away, there were moments when I thought I was on Ghost Hunters. We visited 3 different state parks---all with different physical features. We were located just 20 miles south of Athens, home to Ohio University. I would highly recommend a visit to this beautiful part of the Midwest.

**FYI, the Hocking Hills are also located in the poorest part of Ohio. Just 45 miles west of the West Virginia border, there are clear remnants of a broke-down mining industry. True poverty was evident in these parts, though every person we met was very nice. Tourism now drives their economy.

Pictures to come when my virus infested computer gets its act together.

The Name Game

Dear blob readers,
Please stop naming your offspring horrible names----it isn't cool to name your child after the city they were conceived in, a feeling/state of mind, or the bridging of two totally different names. Case in point: I had a doctor's appt. the other day. Nothing special. However, whenever I glanced at some promotional material at the front counter, I noticed her name was Indy. Yes, her parents named her after a city---not something fancy like London, Paris, or Milan....INDY. Give me a break. She is a great physician, but c'mon.

Furthermore, as an educator, I can honestly say I've heard pretty much every name in the book.

Don't get creative, get smart.

What if your offspring wants to run for office? Start a legal practice? Be a prominent researcher/professor? We are trying to keep these girls OFF the pole....
I'm just saying.....

Monfortonism of the day: Listening to the Wu-Tang Clan always will lift low spirits. Allow yourself to be attacked by Killa Bees.

A case of the Mondays

I received saddening news from a co-worker today. Her husband was diagnosed with some pretty rotten cancer-----He's never smoked, drank, inhaled asbestos.....it really doesn't make sense to me. (Not that it ever does.) I felt sad and scared for her----

Two years ago we went through this with Dana. It is terrifying. If you read this blog, take a few moments and send positive energy their way.....

On a brighter note, it felt like fall today AND Beans did not bite any other dogs on her walk today. Things are looking up......time to prepare for Dancing with the Stars.

If you provided childcare in the greater Detroit area, contact me. My pal Kady needs a babysitter for her rockstar son, Jack. He is super cool, he smells nice, and likes to tear paper. (He is kinda like a puppy, but better.)

Sicky Pow-Pow

I think my computer has a virus. My post will be short.

There is nothing like waking up on a sunny Sunday morning, turning on the tube and the newest Warren Miller movie is on. Basically, it was like Christmas.

I miss skiing.

It is hard to live in a state where folks complain about 2 inches of snow, especially since I pray for it every day.

Thiiiirrrrrssssday

Thirs are the small hairs/spikes/furs that protrude from both Beans and Biscuits' bodies. I (we) call them thirs because they aren't just "dog hair," but rather, small pieces of magic that decorate our house/clothes/cars/lawn/etc. After a nice ear rub atop our nice coach, a "deposit" is usually left. Very magical.

Tonight's episode of Grey's Anatomy is making me want to puke. NO ONE WANTS TO SEE WARTS ALL OVER SOMEONE'S BODY. GOOD GOD.

I attended a meeting tonight for my second job: tutoring. I think as professionals, it is usually understood that one must:
1) be punctual, not 45 minutes late and sit in the front row
2) change cell phones to silent instead of letting them ring 4 times, then adjust the phone
3)when introducing one's self, speak up so everyone can hear you
4)not walk out with 3 extra water bottles so you don't suffer from thirst during your 10 minute car ride home
5)wear deodorant and pop in a mint. Good God.

Monfortonism of the Day: Apparently to be featured on an MTV reality show, your I.Q. must NOT exceed 34, and you must have fake breasts and a tribal band tattoo.

Great Lakes, Great Times

I enjoyed a glorious weekend with my entire Ohana. It is always great when my brother Joey comes home from California. Sadly, his wifey Kelly had to stay in San Fran for work. She's trying to "stick it to the man" as a high powered attorney. Go Kelly.

My weekend began at Nemo's, a Detroit sports staple. Located at the center of Corktown, just east of the Train Station, you can find THE BEST BURGER IN DETROIT. I opted for a turkey burger, knowing I was going to eat like a horse later in the day. Chatter usually revolves around Red Wing hockey, Tiger baseball, and how bad the economy is-----nevertheless, I miss Nemo's and all of its glory when I'm in Bloomington. My Pepe (grandfather) is found there every Friday....corner table.....bowl of soup......diet soda......good stuff.

Jennie and I then ventured to the old Train Station to take some pictures. The old terminal is a hot button in Detroit. Once a glorious architectural structure, it now basically stands in ruins. Sadly, it is very symbolic of the downturn in Michigan. A beacon during the "hay-day" of Detroit, now it is an eye sore for visitors and residents.

Lots of walks with Jennie's dog, Kasia, and several naps later, Lions Sunday had approached! Dana, Joey and I tailgated at the Eastern Market witnessing the true glory of die hard Lions fans. It was frigging awesome. We had incredible seats. There was a douchbag Rams fan sitting next to us. Thankfully after three Lions touchdowns, he finally shut up. It was awesome.

Three days later, I am finally caught up with my life in Bloomington----Dane re-sided our garage with his parents. It looks great. I finally feel like our house is looking like a home.

Pollo e' Frijoles?

Beans is preparing for the Halloween season. What goes better with beans than eggs? Her little sissy, Biscuit, was helping to secure her headdress.

More Pirate's Booty and Mi Familia

I am snacking on Pirate's Booty right now! It is so delicious as I crunch my way through a quarter of the bag in one sitting......outstanding.

On a different note, I was doing some research on the Internet today in the hopes of bridging the gap in the Monforton Family history books. Apparently the Monforton name is that of one family---there is a portion of the family in Montana (Monforton Elementary). The majority seems to be in lower Ontario, Canada or the Detroit area. There are two specific Facebook pages dedicated to the Monforton Clan. It is pretty interesting. I think my second cousin, once removed, has some of the genealogy complete all the way back to 1779. I know there were Monfortons present during the French occupation/presence at Fort Mackinaw. To sum up, I have a ton of relatives I don't know and the family has been around a while.

Monfortonism of the Day: If someone can smell you all the way down the hallway (a high school hallway), CLEARLY, you need to lay off the Britney Spears' Fantasy perfume.

Pirate's Booty

AAARRRRR!!!! Shiver me timbers! I am in love with Pirate's Booty. It is by far the best salty/crunchy snack I have ever consumed. I have found it to be more addicting than sweatpants. (I know! I never thought it could ever happen!) I highly recommend trying some out.....TODAY!

It also helps relieve headaches, heartburn, nausea and other symptoms that resemble a hangover.

Cheers!

Monfortonism of the Day: Never trust a lady with fingernails longer than a house key.

Football Fun for Everyone

I experienced my very first Big Ten tailgate this weekend. Dave and I were graciously invited to attend in anticipation of a big Indiana University win over the University of Michigan Wolverines (Go Blue!). I was super excited and could not wait to see some serious corn hole, football tossing, tree-peeing, side-of-the-car puking. (I did not see any puking, but lots of angry sorostitutes with Wellie boots, side ponytails, and black leggings.)

We came a bit late to the pre-game tailgate ritual that takes place on "The Meadow," which is located on the west side of the stadium. Holy Hoosiers-----cars, flags, beer cans....it was awesome.
**Side note: The only "real" tailgate I've experienced before this was two Notre Dame/Navy games. While it was awesome to be in the ND parking lot, the Meadow at I.U. tops the blacktop.

I ran into a fellow SJC alum, Mr. Michael Field and his little boy, Wyatt. That was pretty awesome. Turns out he and his wife live about 15 minutes from us. It is nice to know a fellow Puma is not too far away.

I encountered lots of confident Michigan fans--I greeted them with smiles and high fives. I was sure not to wear any Hoosier wear, not wanting to discount or let down my fellow Michiganders (my sister-in-law, Kelly). I did wear a Tony Clark tee-shirt underneath my coat, so I did feel some connection to U of M. I wore a red Canada hat, so I looked somewhat like an Indiana fan. Who am I kidding?

I had a great time......

Food for Thought

A few things to think about during this lovely fall weekend.....

1. Driving a junky car with Monster energy drink and Nascar stickers all over it does NOT make it faster or cooler, especially on IN-37.
2. Dried coyote urine pellets may ward off small pests, but it sure as HELL smells like barnyard private parts.
3. Jimmy Fallon and Justin Timberlake's "History of Rap" is possibly the funniest thing I've seen on television for a while.
http://www.latenightwithjimmyfallon.com/video/a-history-of-rap-jimmy-fallon-justin-timberlake-&-the-roots/1252017
4. Tee-shirts that expose one's mid section, as it flows over one's belt much like a frosting over a cupcake, is NOT attractive. It is time for a larger tee-shirt.
5. The People's History of the United States by David Zinn is the best book I've read in a while.
6. Stepping in dog poop soaked by a hose for hours is funny, just not when it happens to me.
7. Go BLUE! (I will be tail-gating for the first time this weekend against Michigan on Indiana's stomping ground. No likey.)