Tight Shorts

Here is Greta's picture of the day---Her daddy holding her while her baby bird spikes (rear mullet hairs) tickle his cheek. LOVE IT. Warning: Baby bird spikes emit a powerful hormone that makes the baby-holder feel EXTREMELY relaxed, often resulting in immediate napping/bedwetting.

Today I ventured out of the house to get my "piece of shit Blackberry" fixed for the zillionth time, only to have to wait over an hour to get the job done. While waiting forever at the Verizon store, I learned that the latter generation of folks in Bloomington are embracing technological advances---trading in their "flip phone" for a phone with a texting pad----I love the dialogue that takes place between sales person and the consumer.....


"Which one is the best one for my hearing?"


"I just want to make phone calls."


"Will my house phone still work?"


Priceless.





Also, I was able to get to Buy Buy Baby to pick up some bottles for Greta's juice weezing activities in the night and witness a MAJOR fashion felony. A dude sporting cargo shorts, with a belt, and a tucked in shirt----while this seems harmless, I saw his entire JUNK RACK because they were so goddamn tight---he had VPL (visible panty line), they were so tight. And worse, his wife was looking at him with these hot-ass eyes, like all the women in the land were after her fella. GROSS. I should mention, her American flag teeshirt was tucked into her cotton-knit shorts. I saw her VPL as well.....do I need to mention both these folks could spare to lose 300 pounds? Gross. Made me want to floss my teeth and hit the ol' treadmill. Regardless, I got my breast pump parts and hit the road.





And finally, Celebrity Rehab 5 started last night. Nothing like washed up G list actors/singers/reality stars who are hyped up on the sauce, trying to get their shit together to make a person like me feel normal. Thank you, Dr. Drew.