We are on day #3 of the flu in Casa Norton. It is NOT pretty. Dana, my awesome baby sister, came into town at the drop of a hat on Monday night, as I lay in a hospital bed and Dave kept Greta out of the mix. 4 am rolled around, and Dana came to get me---not 4 hours later, I hear Dana running into our ONE bathroom, puking her brains out. Dana isn't much to be touched, so I handed her a cold washcloth, offered her some Gatorade, and returned to my disgusting flu-ridden bed (next to Dave). Yesterday afternoon, I started to feel better-----granted, I was doped up on Daladid, Maalox, Pepcid, Lidocaine, and Zofran---but feeling better. 5 pm rolls around, and Dave gives me this very wimpy look, flushed and a bit sweaty, telling me he doesn't feel well. Oh shit. SO, Dana is laid up on the couch, Dave is in bed, Greta just had her 3rd blowout of the day and it wasn't even 7 pm. Thankfully, Greta went to bed pretty early, Dave's fever was being controlled by Aleve and a cold washcloth and Dana and I were eating saltines on the couch. Dana is definitely NOT feeling 100%, but she is starting to turn a corner. Dave still has a fever, has yet to puke, but looks better. The dogs are at puppy school, so it is my turn to disinfect the entire house hoping Greta DOES NOT get the flu.

On a brighter note, it is about 70 outside. The windows are open. I will be complaining about this come April when my allergies are on high alert from the lack of freezing temps this winter. NOT COOL.

Let's just say the last 72 hours have been very interesting. After a great weekend in Chicago with Jennie, Mom, and Dana, my drive home was a disaster. Greta cried, Oliver cried. (I drove up and back with a girlfriend and her son.) We stopped outside Merrillville at a Dairy Farm. We saw a baby cow being born. (pictures later). I woke up at 2 am on Monday, puking and feeling like I was having a heart attack. 8 hours later, I'm home from the hospital, not puking, but now Dana is puking. Oh, and on a final note, I might have hepatitis. Good times.

I have neglected by blog for the last few days---we've had a visit from Dave's mom, and a last minute trip to Indy to visit a VERY special little person. Our friends, Jamie and Tarek, have a magical little girl named Sophie. Sophie is about as cute as any human can get. Unfortunately, Sophie has some medical issues that have been showing themselves for the last year----she was admitted, again, to Peyton Manning Children's Hospital two days ago because of continuous vomiting.....in a nutshell, Jamie and Tarek are trying to get some kind of diagnosis that would explain Sophie's symptoms. They are getting much closer with the help of a fabulous team of doctors. Prayers, happy thoughts, and well wishes are a must right now----she (and her parents) are brave souls. I spent 9 hours with them at the hospital yesterday. Needless to say, I was absolutely exhausted. I have NO IDEA how Jamie has done this SIX times---crazy.

Extra! Extra! Read all about it! This just in: The Section 8 housing project directly behind us houses criminals.....I know this, because these occupants seem to enjoy the finer things: smoking joints, driving cars with rims, and having cars pull in and out of their driveways at all hours of the night. Just when I thought I was a complete biased pig, I read in the paper that our neighbor, directly behind us (not Nana), was arrested on Wednesday (at her apartment), for possessing meth and being a pubic nuisance. This is fucking great. Our neighbors, meth heads. LOVE THIS.

After reading the news today, I have some GRAVE concerns in regard to the "stories" that the media is covering.

1) Yes, Whitney Houston died. It is sad. HOWEVER, we DO NOT need to be flying flags at half mast or some other military like bullshit charade. She died of a drug overdose because she was an addict. Each day, families lose their loved ones to terminal illness, crime, and old age. These folks don't get any of the press that Whitney is getting. It is embarrassing that the media thinks the majority of America wants/needs to hear about Whitney so much. Embarrassing.

2. Chris Brown was mean-tweeting after his Grammy win, calling out all the "haters." Chris Brown was and forever will be a wife-beater. I don't give a fuck that he made a fun wedding dance song that was featured on the Office, he's still an assclown jerkface. I'm not sure if he gets the fact that people just won't forget that. I say bring back R. Kelly---his crimes weren't as bad. We all need to pee sometime.

3. Peyton Manning vs. Jim Irsay: NO ONE CARES. He's old and needs to retire. PLUS, he has a wonky neck. He should take up golf and move on. Indy needs a new franchise player that is better looking....

4. Mitt Romney and the rest of the Republican group running for President---I couldn't tell you who is who....all I know is they all are Pro-Life (GROSS) and don't like the gays. Needless to say, I won't be voting for them. They have too much money and too much time. Again, they should find another hobby.......As long as there is a candidate that is Pro Choice, loves the Gays, and thinks Education in this country is important, I'm voting for him or her.

5. AND most importantly, the Red Wings posted their 21st win at home (a NHL record). I'm sad that we don't get the games on TV here in Indiana. If there is one thing that I miss so much, living in Indiana, it is Detroit sports. As if my Detroit "D" tattoo wasn't enough, I LOVE hearing about the Wings on ESPN. I makes me happy to now Blackhawk fans are crying in the corner somewhere.

6. A little entertainment teaser that I have to mention: Bruce Springsteen's new album is coming out in March. SO EXCITED. I must say, nothing has topped the Kennedy Center Honors when Sting played The Rising. It made me cry. I want this song played at my funeral. SERIOUSLY.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ccncWNbeVEQ

I found this great website on Pinterest that you'll love if you are totally into organizing......like I wish I was:

www.iheartorganizing.blogspot.com

She has great pictures and tutorials on how she did her Before/Afters.

Ugh. Valentine's Day. MY LEAST favorite "holiday" during the calendar year. I dread this day......in high school, I would look around at all the boys purchasing dumb presents for their virginal girlfriends. I know this was an attempt to get at their lady business.....I'm sure it didn't work, but only for a few. I won't mention their names. In college during my freshman year, I got a horrible kidney infection on Valentine's Day. Again, not the best day in the world. HOWEVER, my luck started to change when I began dating Dave. I think our first Valentine's Day was spent going to dinner and seeing a movie in Merrillville, because we were living in Rensselaer at the time. The second year, he bought me a burrito from Qdoba. NOW THAT IS LOVE. Not sure what has transpired since, but I am not a fan of this day. The only thing I need is a soft puppy ear, some sweatpants, and some quality garbage television. However, I am thinking of taking Dave to Five Guys for dinner.....that is true love.

If I hear another person talking about Whitney Houston, I'm going to kill myself (not in a bathtub). This poor woman---clearly addicted to drugs. I blame Bobby Brown---afterall, he was the "bad boy" in her life when she was a sparkly angel with an amazing singing voice. Her career went in the toilet after they got together.......it took a while, but she was a version of herself during that Oprah interview. Sad stuff.

The Grammys were sabatoged by all the talk of Whitney....didn't people know it was ADELE's night?!?! I sure as hell did. I'm proud to say I'm now a celebrity after I tweeted a not so nice tweet to Alfonso Smith of the Detroit Lions after he was making rude remarks about Adele's appearance. I called him a pig. He told me "God Bless you my friend." There you have it....FAMOUS. I am no longer "following" him on Twitter. He can take his shit comments and shove it. And secondly, Taylor Swift....her performance sucked and the outfit she chose during the performance was even worse. TERRIBLE. And finally, the Band Perry kicked some major ass during their Glen Campbell performance. I'm a fan now. Whoo hoo.

I am waiting for the Dixie Chicks and Van Halen to win their lifetime achievement award at the Grammys. When that day comes, I'll be super happy. Until then, the Grammys will suck.

I finally feel like I'm making headway with my pelvic floor issues (TMI?) After MONTHS of dealing with this, and getting NO answers from any doctors, I finally found a GREAT doctor in Indy, Dr. Douglass Hale, through Dave's aunt. He is a uro-gynecologist who specializes in trauma. He is fabulous. He's the first person that has actually given me some straight answers about some of the problems I've been having. He directed me to his awesome physical therapist, who only does pelvic floor work. Christy, the therapist, is amazing. We will become best friends for the next 12-18 weeks as she tries to get my lady business up and running. She is very confident that I won't need surgery. She did advise me to wait at least 2 years before having another baby, and when that times comes, it will be a c-section. She also said that majority of the "work" I will do will involve learning how to breathe from my belly---something I totally have no idea about. She said this is how you should be lifting anything to give your lower abs/pelvic floor a break. In a nutshell, she is a genius and I wish I had seen her from the word go.

I would like to take this time to recognize all of the FUCKING HORRIBLE doctors out there who manage to fuck up people on a regular basis and stand behind their malpractice insurance as a means to continue to their "practices." While I'm not speaking about anyone specifically, I've seen enough of them in the last 8 months to write a book. I'd also like to make a nice shoutout to all of the amazing attorneys, therapists, and friends who manage to pick up the pieces after being victim to FUCKING HORRIBLE doctors. Silly me.....I keep forgetting that just because someone goes to school for a million years does NOT make them capable of making good, sound, and safe decisions. Furthermore, I'd like to give a million highfives to those doctors who are AMAZING, GIFTED, COMPASSIONATE, AND KIND. These doctors are not recognized enough----they DO make people better. You always know a good doctor---they are the ones who always are completely open-minded, supportive of second and third opinions and alternative medicine, as well as super long appointments that consist mostly of talking. These doctors also speak to you in a manner that a patient can wholly understand, and don't need the dumb receptionist explaining everything after an appointment.

That is all.

While Greta is napping, I usually take time to browse through Pinterest for some "Dream Home" ideas. Pinterest is a dangerous place.....I've been able to put together my dream house, as far as the decor, in just a few short hours. The possibilities are truly endless. It would be magical if I could transform our current home into our dream house......lots of wainscoting, refurbished wood floors, lots of windows, a huge kitchen, lots of built-ins, walk out basement, on an acre of property with lots of mature trees......

I wonder how many people are able to make this dream a reality. I mean REALLY construct/design/decorate their dream house.

I'd like to take this time to get some things off my chest, in no particular order of importance:

1. I cannot stop biting my nails. I really should be on Intervention for this.
2. I'm obsessed with Fisher Price Little People. I hit up Once Upon a Child yesterday and bought two more things.....it is getting bad.
3. I haven't showered in two days and my hair looks like rooster feathers.
4. I sent the dogs to puppy school, even though they are going tomorrow too. Biscuit is driving me nuts. Don't tell Dave.
5. I cannot wait for Breaking Dawn to come out on DVD this week. I'm in love with Bella's wedding dress.
6. Last week, I ate McDonald's 4 out of 7 days. Gross, I know.
7. I need a pedicure.....BAD. Feet are so gross.
8. I ate a brownie for dinner last night. Two, actually.

Ok, I feel better now. Thank you all for listening. Happy Tuesday.

I ventured out to run some errands today at Walmart and the Mall. Needless to say, it was trashtastic Sunday in Bloomington. Lots of skanky hoochies at the mall, and LOTS of "just rolled out of bed, couldn't be bothered to wash my face, brush my teeth, comb my hair" looks at Walmart. I should have known. It isn't like I'm wearing my wedding dress, but I did manage to snap on some clean underpants and brush my teeth. Greta did her best too---a clean onesie, a clean thorax (diaper) and her trusty Santa socks.

I worked in the basement for 5 hours last night. I managed to drop off 3 boxes of things at Goodwill and was able to consolidate tons of clothes, books, and pictures. Those are separate projects in themselves. I now have an area to do laundry and do paperwork in the basement.

However, I would still love to have an organizer come over and make it look pretty. (See picture above. This is not my house, fyi.)

My parting words: Go Giants. I will surely see the Lions NEXT YEAR in the SUPERBOWL. ROAR! (Mark my words-----Place your bets now.)

Help Wanted:
Someone to help me organize/clean out my basement.

Payment:
Eternal friendship, puppy dog licks, and lots of high fives.

Inquire within.

Problems #1 and #2 of why I can't seem to get through the laundry......Biscuit is actually laying on two separate piles, and Beans is only occupying one pile.
Clean. Laundry.
No dog hair. Not anymore.

I am a bit more clear headed this morning, because Greta actually caught some ZZZ's last night. She only woke up once, after a nightmare, and went back to sleep shortly after. Sidenote: I can't stand having a sick kid, and I am thankful everyday we don't spend days and nights at Riley or St. Jude's. Those poor kids have it rough. No complaints out of me. However, last night, when Greta woke up with her nightmare, I was able to sling her over my shoulder like I did when she was a newborn. I haven't been able to do this in so long----rubbing her back, petting her baby bird spikes, it makes me so sad because she is growing. Hmph. Needless to say, I held her like this for about an hour. I totally get those moms that say dumb kid stuff like this.

And because I have a clearer head (and a nervous system supported by Concerta), I am ready to take on the beast that we call laundry. Folks, it is bad. Again, I'm one step away from Hoarders coming.

And finally, I am feeling very proud of myself because I have actually accomplished some tasks that Dave and I have been putting off for months: Life insurance and creating a will/trust for Greta. I tried to do some internet research about both topics, but it gets confusing. There is basic information out there about how to go about both things, but it is always best to get advice from someone in the profession. I called my friend Kady about the life insurance because her Dad sells it. She gave me the number to the office and this very intelligent/non trashy/educated person called me back. She was extremely patient, poised, and articulate discussing the entire process. She was definitely NOT trying to sell me flood insurance or tractor insurance, which was a relief. We will most likely go with Kady's dad's company---I also hear it is best to deal with someone you kinda know----I can't imagine something actually happening and trying to pin down policies and all that crap. Snaps to Kady's dad's company.

As far as the will/trust thing goes, I called my dad and his lawyer is going to do write it up for us. I feel major relief now, knowing Greta and our family won't have to deal with all the crap if something were to happen. You hear about that all the time, and what a horrible way to grieve----and another thing, because Dave and I are worth MILLIONS (yea, right), we don't want Greta blowing her trust on a Ferrari and barrels of cocaine (like most of the kids I met when I traveled to San Diego in '03). I want to make sure she has all the Fisher Price Little People she wants (and I want...I am obsessed).

It is now 10:12 and I'm still in my snowflake pajamas. I'm about to mainline my Concerta and get started on that damn laundry.

(The picture above was taken the week we brought Greta home from the hospital. She weighed about 7 pounds at the time. Triple that, and that is what we are dealing with today. LARGE MARGE.)

Where's Beans? Can you find her? (In a "Where's Waldo?" tone of voice)

Yep, this is what our bedroom looks like now. Too bad it has only been TWO MONTHS since Chris built our closet and it still looks like a bomb went off. HOWEVER, I did purchase knobs for the doors this week. The laundry? That is a completely different monster. This is my rationale: Our basement, aka The Drop Zone, has been bombarded with clothes, baby crap, Christmas decor, tools, etc. I figure I am not able to brace the laundry situation until the basement situation is on lock. This is a dual-action activity that I am planning for this weekend. It won't be easy, but I have faith. Until then, I continue to battle the monster I call unfolded (but clean) clothes.

Guess who was domestically gifted today???? Yep, ME! I FINALLY finished planting my tulips.....in February......I am THAT person. However, it is 50 degrees out and the ground is no where near frozen. I'm sure I will have tons of benign growth (green, no flowers), but that means for better bulbs next spring.

I thought I'd bring it back old school with my Highlights/Lowlights section:

HIGHLIGHTS:
1. I finally got my hair (literally) cut and colored last night. I found this great lady, Whitney, about 20 minutes away. She is super cheap (50 bucks!) and always does a great job. She can cut and color! (A unicorn hairdresser.)
2. The Superbowl is almost here! The Norton Ohana will be heading to the Misky's this Sunday to celebrate another year in football. Sadly, the Lions won't be playing, but I know they'll be there in 2013.
3. I had a successful Wine Club night at the house on Friday. Lots of laughing and lounging---it was sweatpants theme, which was great. Everyone was relaxed. I was able to get some of my ladies from Indy to come down---it was great!
4. The large calf boots I ordered from Amazon came yesterday. I can't wait to pair them with some leggings and my new tunic shirt. (I like to ride in style.)
5. I discovered Pinterest. I do not need to elaborate.

LOWLIGHTS:
1. Greta Button has been fighting a nasty cold since Monday. We will be heading back to the doctor this afternoon for another ear check. She is miserable. Diarrhea, runny nose, sore fanny, awful cough, restless sleeping---not okay.
2. Still no decision on a sling surgery for me---after speaking with Dave's insurance company, they want me to see yet another doctor. UGH. I should just start marching down the street with my legs open. Seriously.
3. We've been casually looking at houses in Bloomington. Sadly, all the houses we like are way out of our price range. I need a winning lottery ticket.
4. Still, no snow.
5. The basement is a shithole and I don't have a cleaning lady.

Just got my weaved snapped---cut off 2 inches, added some fresh (to death) her-lights and lowlights, with just a pinch of red. Boom.