El Sicko

Two words for my readers: Sinus. Infection.

Not only did Santa Claus bring a beautiful display of Christmas treasures, but a sinus/ear infection as well. It's okay, because I still believe in the magic of Christmas.

To help resolve my illness, I whipped up a batch of Jan Monforton's famous Beef Barley Soup, promising to warm the bellies of all who enjoy it. Here is the recipe:

BEEF BARLEY SOUP
This is for a single batch.

5 qt. water
1-1/2 to 2 lbs. beef soup meat (beef shanks are good)
1 med onion, diced or minced
8 beef bouillon cubes
1 Tbsp. worcestorshire sauce
1 Tbsp. soy sauce, regular or low sodium
1/4 tsp. garlic powder
1/4 tsp. seasoned salt
3 or 4 drops Tobasco or Red Hot Sauce
1/4 c. ketchup
1/8 tsp. pepper
Combine all the above in a large pot, bring to boil, then simmer for several hours til meat falls off bone. Remove meat and soup bones (treat for the girls?).
Crumble the meat into small pieces, and add back to the broth. (Sometimes I'll do this process in the evening, then set the soup outside to chill and let any
fat rise to the top, then do the following the next day)
Add to soup:
2 carrots, cubed or cut as small or chunky as you like.
2 celery ribs with leafy tops, finely choped
1 Tbsp parsley flakes
2 medium-to-large potatoes, peeled and cubed
1-1/2 c. quick barley (or use regular barley, but a smaller amount)
Simmer for several hours, til vegetables are fully cooked.

As mentioned, this soup is amazing. I just ate a bowl and I already feel better. Jan usually bakes several loaves of whole wheat bread to serve along side the soup, but my bread making abilities are not up to snuff (even with a bread machine).

I will be sure to start taking some pictures for the blog on my new camera.

Lazy Days Ahead

So, I successfully navigated yet another holiday season at Casa Mofo and Casa Norton. I was rewarded on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day with wonderful "prizes" for my visits--a much needed camera, Uggs, apron, fat kid pants (sweats), perfume, maternity clothes (that don't fit yet, because no "belly" exists), and several sleep-in mornings. All in all, it was a truly a great Christmas. The BEST moment of my break thus far came on Boxing Day, December 26.

Dave and I were invited to Jack Becker's 1st Birthday-a truly momentous occasion. Kady decorated the Becker household (a gorgeous house, might I add) with a tie motif. Ties hanging from the chandeliers, laying across tables, fashioned to busts on mantles. It was so cute. Kady truly outdid herself in the decor department. I think she may need to begin a career as a party designer. Jack was a cute as ever, rocking' out a "tie" onesy. I had been planning a great 1st birthday present for Jack for a while---I definitely knew I wanted to get him a shopping cart. SO, after shopping around at Toys R Us, Target, etc., and finally venturing to The Doll Hospital and Toy Soldier Shop in Berkley, Michigan, I found the perfect shopping cart. I am proud to say, it was the coolest gift at the party and Jack loved it! Unfortunately, every picture I took on my NEW camera was deleted because I forgot to put in the memory stick (blame pregnancy brain). Hopefully Kady got some good pictures for her blog, www.ourbeckerblog.blogspot.com
Here is the shopping cart:
I'm back home now in Bloomington celebrating the last 5 days of my break. I love being at home with the dogs and the prospect of REAL rest. I am going to be doing some soup-making and cooking-baking in the next few days. Holler.

Pregnancy update #5: No baby bump, still. Hmph. I feel normal. Yes, its weird.

Awaiting a Shitshow

So the Monforton children have affectionately named our Christmas Eve party, "The Annual Shitshow." With all the preparations, yelling, and planning that takes place, "shitshow" is a rightful name. We are now T-minus 24 hours and counting:
The basement is clean.
The shopping is finished.
Joey is hungover, but optimistic about tomorrow's cooking performance. (He had Leo's for lunch, which helps any hangover or mild illness.)
Dave and Jennie are en route to Casa Mofo.

Let the games begin.

Made in Detroit

I have been celebrating all things Detroit (and Christmas), especially all things related to food.

I have enjoyed Leo's Coney Island (twice). I think if the Three Wise Men didn't have frankincense and myrrh, they surely would have sprung for some Lemon Rice Soup and a nice Greek Salad. Yeppers.

I had a great Polish meal at Polonia in downtown Hamtramck with a great friend, Mrs. Peggy Maley. She is my friend Erin's mom and we have kept in touch since leaving for college. She is super awesome to talk to, especially about politics. We see eye to eye on several issues, which is a nice break from political "discussions" with my conservative husband. (I love you Dave, just not your politics.) I have a beautiful plate of stuffed cabbage (golabcki), potatoes, and carrots. Yummy! Pete, Peggy's husband, enjoy the combination plate---stuffed cabbage, pierogies, sausage, and sauerkraut. (I'm drooling again.) Peggy had the roast beef, which looked nice, but it wasn't Polish enough for me. I love Poland and Poland's food.

And finally, in celebration of Dana's graduation from college, we had our Ohana dinner at the Forest Grille in Birmingham, Michigan. HOLY JESUS, was it good. The chef focuses his menu on seasonal and local items. Seriously, this was the 3rd best meal I've ever had. Scallops wrapped in bacon atop a nice "pile" of whipped cauliflower, almonds, capers, and a balsamic reduction. This was the Christmas miracle. SO GOOD. I polished off my dinner, enjoyed some doughnuts on the menu, and laughed at my drunk family.

Once again, Michigan awesomeness. Loving being at home in le' Mitten.

Christmas Cards

I finally finished my Christmas cards.....er, Holiday cards. I don't want to offend anyone, so I always send "Happy Holiday" greetings. No need to exclude anyone from a celebratory wintery season of magic, wonder, and cookies.

Dave and I are in Fort Wayne visiting Big Jim and Joan before Christmas. We will head back down here on Christmas Day, when Dave's brother and girlfriend arrive.

Last night, we hiked at a local golf course. I was able to see the sheer athleticism of Biscuit in action-----herding a large pack of deer-----I wish I had my video camera. It was awesome. Her trusty accompliss, Beans, was about 20 yards behind bringing up the rear. Beans is built for short distance, not a marathon spring like her sissy. I am happy to report no deer or dogs were injured during this activity.

VACATION

Today is the first day of my two-week break. Words cannot express my excitement. In celebration, I slept in 'til 9 am, watched several reruns of One Tree Hill and Giuliana and Bill, had Dave make me breakfast, watched my birdfeeders for about 20 minutes, all in my sweatpants (it is 11:25 a.m.----we are way past the sweatpants/morning threshold).

I plan on doing much relaxing, cookie baking, cleaning, skiing, television watching, and sleeping during my two-week break. Again, so excited.

Pregnancy update #4: Feeling 97%. I have this weird nose-drippy thing happening. I have allergies (in the winter no less). I am enjoying meat again. I get out of breath very easily. I'm thinking this is how someone who weighs 500 pounds feels. Ugh. No bump. Pants are feeling a wee bit tighter (frown).

Praying for Snow

Everyday I ask the Baby Jesus in the Manger, Santa Claus, Hanukkah Harry, and Festivus Fred for snow. I understand the whole thing about "praying for snow" is more relevant in the mountains, but it is the closest thing I can have to mountain magic living in Indiana. Tonight, I think my wishes might catch up with me ......
If this scenario pans out how I think it might, I'm in for another "personal snow day." I need to run to the store if that is the case---I need more butter and pecans to make cookies.

The Weather Outside is Frightful, but the Indian Food I Made is So Delightful.....

What better way to celebrate a self-imposed snow day than wrapping presents, finishing up ornament hanging, and making Indian food for dinner. All in all, it was a successful day. Last night, the weather here in south-central Indiana was a bit interesting. Blowing snow, wind, some more snow, ice, etc. I decided to possibly consider a snow day for myself today if this Mother Nature shenanigans continued into this morning. Lo and behold, it did. I woke up at 5 a.m., cruised through 3 news stations and NADA! I.P.S.: no 2 hour delay. Of course! I.P.S. always has school. BAH! I looked a bit closer at the television and noticed EVERY OTHER SCHOOL DISTRICT IN CENTRAL INDIANA WAS ON A DELAY. No fair! Ugh! I glanced outside, saw no plow or salt truck, emailed my colleagues, and went back to bed. I figured my 70 mile commute would be a disaster with the advisory and warning issued for Indiana. I was right. Apparently things were quite harry on the roads this morning.

I settled nicely into my "snow day," and found myself to be quite productive. I would show before and after pictures, but my camera went to Jesus last week. I'm hoping Sinter Clas brings me a new one in 2 weeks.

Here's to a blizzard the week we are suppose to return from Christmas break........

It's Beginning to Look a lot Like Christmas?

I'm not going to lie. I have ZERO Christmas decorations up. Yes, I'm embarrassed. I haven't shared this with anyone. This is usually my favorite time of the year. I get super pumped BEFORE Thanksgiving to put up the lights, etc. However, this year, not so much. BUT, I feel the tide turning. I woke up this morning feeling refreshed and ready to take on the day---this will include, but is not limited to:

Putting up outside Christmas lights
Putting up Christmas decor in the house
Finish/put away the laundry
Make oatmeal chocolate chip cookies
Find a dressy outfit for Dave's work party tonight
Drop off some clothes to Goodwill
Start Christmas cards

So far, it is looking good.

I have been a horrible blogger this week because I've been super busy revisiting my therapist and attending much needed dinner dates with my girlfriends. Thankfully this next coming week is much slower. I can actually come home and cook dinner. I'm feeling like cooking again, which brings me to my weekly pregnancy update.

Pregnancy Update #2
Feeling much less tired this week. Today marks the first day of my second trimester. The squirrel is still in my uterus and it is still alive. The exercise ban has been lifted: I can hike and be normal again. I am thinking of eating meat this week, especially pork. I had 3 sips of wine at my wine club meeting. Not a good idea. Felt sick the next day. The squirrel no likey petite sirah. I still feel fat. Thankful that I am 1/3 thru this and the bean is healthy. We will find out the sex next month.

Congratulations to Kady Becker for completing her first week of work as a mom. Jack is very proud, and so are Beans and Biscuit.

Baby, It's Cold Outside

Woke up to yet another morning with snow! I'm super excited! Hooooolllllleeeeerrrrr! Biscuit demanded to be the first one out the door.......she maintains a "safe" backyard: Squirrel free.




This is her most important job, next to keeping Beans safe at puppy school. Apparently she spends the majority of her time at puppy school (when Beans is there), following her and watching her closely-----Beans can definitely take care of herself, but I guess Biscuit does not feel adequate not doing her "job." (Lots of quotations in there.) Even funnier, Beans is the alpha dog at our house. She is sure to remind Biscuit what toys belong to her and when she is acting out of line. Biscuit doesn't care. She will be the first to groom Beans' ears, help clean her off after a bath, and be sure she is resting comfortably. I'm hoping this behavior can be parlayed into car of their baby human sibling. Beans is definitely ready. She is very nurturing towards me. I know she'll be a great "Nana" to her baby sibling. Side note: While Biscuit prefers being out-of-doors when the snow comes, Beans likes to stay inside maintaining the safety of her couch, window, blankie, and her family.



In celebration of our first big snow, Dave and I are taking the 4-leggeds on a hike with their best pals, Wrigley and Henry. Henry looks like the a white wolf and Wrigley is a nice yellow lab. Both of these pups take the #2 and #3 spot of best dogs in the world behind Doyle Harrell. Obedient, loving, curious. protective, and soft----they are some seriously awesome canines. (Oh, Cooper and Tucker Becker and nice dogs, too!)

December means Snow!

Welcome lovely month of December! I have quite a bit to blog about, so I am going to get right down to biz-niz.

Yes, I'm pregnant. For the record, this blog will not be solely dedicated to charting/discussing/monitoring my pregnancy. While I will take moments to discuss SOME things, I will try my best to keep this about news, facts, and current opinions. I feel like a blog dedicated to Baby Horton Norton would be not in my character. I follow two great blogs:

www.ourbeckerblog.blogspot.com
www.joshandjessicabrown.blogspot.com

Both of these blogs are wonderful. Kady and Jessica have done a beautiful job recording their pregnancies with pictures, ideas, and moments----I am keeping pregnancy to the professionals. They are way more artsy-fartsy, and I would look like a fool trying to make something as cool as theirs.

Pregnancy update: I feel great. I get tired in the evening. I don't have a belly, just a beer gut. I crave ramen and Spaghettios. I have to take it easy because Baby Horton is being difficult. Beans totally knows I'm pregnant, while Biscuit could care less. I'm not decorating or painting anything yet. I am finding out the sex. My great friend from middle school, Mrs. Melissa Wills Bowles, is due a week after me. Awesomeness.
Thanksgiving break, Part II:
I have since recovered from the Lions' horrible loss to the Pats. I don't blame Tom Brady OR Shaun Hill. The Lions need more talent. They have plenty of heart. I am hoping for a win this weekend against the Bears. I'm not a Bears fan, though I think Bears' fans are hilarious. ROAR!
Dave and I spent the rest of our holiday weekend in Fort Wayne with my kick-ass in-laws. We told the grandparents about Baby Horton. They are super pumped. Dave went on a bunch of hikes, and I decided to continue my "taking it easy" to the coach. I caught up on tons of HGTV and Food Network with Big Jim Norton. FYI, he is great to hang with. He is super relaxed, he laughs at all my jokes, and he wears the slippers I gave him for Christmakkah two years ago. He definitely is #1 in my book. Oh, and he loves Purdue, which is hilarious. (Dave received his MBA from Kelley at Indiana University. This creates minor friction.)

I started to dabble with Christmas shopping. I have a pretty good game plan on how I'm going to attack my list. I'm going to keep things simple and strategic. I love shopping during the holidays, though the mall can be overwhelming. I am going to take my plan to Brown County this weekend. It smells nice and there is a great jewelry store there, Silver and Gold. It is a family owned small store with gorgeous estate jewelry. They also do custom pieces as well as repair. Dave has been tricked into going in the store before----He is clear on what my tastes are. Maybe one day I'll finally get the 3 carat sparkler with sapphires that I desire. However, I can wait.

I have began my annual bad-Christmas-movie-marathon. I started with John Denver's The Christmas Gift. I Love This Movie! It is super cheesy, but more importantly, it was filmed in Steamboat during the 80's. It doesn't get any better than that. During the month of December, I usually watch The Family Stone about 40 times. This is by far the best holiday movie of all time. I will go ahead and post from Dana's blog about her critique of this film. I think her writing captures my sentiments as to why it is so frigging awesome:




Ah, yes, The Family Stone. This film ranks very high on my list of favorite all-time movies, and even higher on the favorite holiday movie list. I've decided that I won't write an actual review of it, because I'm beginning to think that I can't write a decent one. I love talking about movies, but as yet, I can't write a cohesive, coherent review. Instead, I will just write a sort of commentary-- that way, I can highlight the aspects that I love, and won't feel compelled to discuss the aspects that don't interest me. [Note: I am very interested in directorial prowess. I really am. But, I have no idea how to judge a director. I look at episodes of television shows that had one of the actors at the helm, and I don't see any difference between those, and the episodes that are directed by legitimate directors. Given that I've studied film academically, I should probably get a handle on that. Like, soon.] So, I made some notes as I watched the film, and my commentary will reflect the order in which I made these notes. Ah, blessed, blessed autonomy. Basic plot: Everett Stone, the oldest child of the Stone family, brings his girlfriend, Meredith Morton, home for Christmas. Chaos ensues as Meredith tries to fit in with Everett's family. And then awesomeness ensues because Diane Keaton is involved. * Some movies are written with built-in "bookends"-- literary or cinematic devices that occur at both the beginning and end of the story. TFS has two kinds of bookends. First, the story begins and ends on the afternoon of December 23rd, in the Stone family home, when one of the Stone siblings, Thad, returns to his childhood home for the holiday and holiday preparations are in gear-- there's a year that separates the two. There's a significant shift from one arrival to the next, but still. Also, cinematically, the main story begins and ends with a shot of a pair of female hands wearing a striking silver ring. This second set of bookends is a little more sentimental than the first, but both are powerful and effective tools to shape how the story is told to the audience. * Hands play a significant role in the movie. The title of the movie is a double-entendre-- the main characters are part of the family Stone, and a significant element in the story is the passage of an heirloom diamond ring, a family stone. Get it? One of the promotional shots for the film is of a female hand holding up a ring finger, much like one would hold up a middle finger. Cheeky. And clever, because it clues the audience into the idea that hands play a role in the story. One of the characters is deaf, so some of the spoken dialogue is coupled with American Sign Language, so we are forced to watch the actors' hands. Again, one of the first shots is of female hands-- Diane Keaton's character is introduced first through her hands. We see female hands, looking like they have epic stories to tell, folded and holding onto a white Christmas tree ornament. The camera tilts up to show Keaton's gorgeous and powerful face, her expression pensive and pained. We find out soon enough just why her expression reads that way, and we also find out why those hands are so valuable. Keaton plays the Stone matriarch, Sybil-- she is a wife, writer, mother, cook, and grandmother. Her hands stroke, type, comfort, stir, and squeeze-- much of the story is based on how the various characters interact with Sybil's wise hands. One particularly tender moment, between Sybil and her husband Kelly (played with surprising gravity and aplomb by Craig T. Nelson), shows Sybil taking her husband's hand, and leading it to her chest. She silently asks for the same comfort from her husband's hand as she offers to her loved ones. (Oh, I dare you to watch the scene without tearing up. Plus, in marvelously torturous Hollywood fashion, the most bittersweet holiday song is playing, sung by Judy FUCKING Garland. Seriously. That whole sequence is brilliant.) Anyway, there are a handful [hahhaha] of other instances of how important hands are in the movie-- and it's one of my favorite elements. * The set designers, production designers, location scouts, and costume designers all had a SERIOUS hand in telling the story. Even though the script and actors are wonderful, so much richness and detail is gleaned from the look of each shot. The house where most of the action takes place is decorated to the hilt-- it really looks like a family occupies it, and if you look closely, it gives details to each character. For example-- Everett, the oldest Stone child, played by Dermot Mulroney [hhhhhhhot], is introduced to us as a straight-laced, successful businessman. He has met his girlfriend while on a trip to Hong Kong for something involving an upcoming IPO. We are invited into his childhood bedroom, and see nothing that would indicate his interest in finance. His walls are covered with maps and cultural artifacts. The back of his bedroom door is decorated with a large poster of [I think] Vishnu, a Hindi deity. The remnants of his athletic success are tucked into a drawer. All of these things run counter to what we've learned about him prior to seeing his room. Another example-- Sarah Jessica Parker's character, Meredith Morton, Everett's girlfriend, goes through a major transition from beginning to end, and the changes in her appearance serve as little guideposts for the audience. (It's as though the costumer and make-up artist are sending us a message, "Did you guys get that? Her hair is messy now. That should tell you something. Also, she's not wearing anything with a collar. Don't ignore that!!") We first meet her as the picture of yuppie polish. Perfectly tailored grey suit, tight and intricate chignon, icy diamond earrings, somewhat severe albeit immaculate make-up-- she's an ice queen. In the denouement, her hair is loose around her shoulders, her eye make-up is smudged and flattering, and she is wearing a comfy-looking t-shirt. Lovely. I just really like that the costumes and personal artifacts on the actors tell us something about them, if we just look a little closer. When you watch the movie, pay particular attention to the ring on Diane Keaton's hand at the beginning. It plays its own little role. Also, the way the actors interact with the set is great-- one particular shot that I love is when Meredith is coming down the stairs at the Stones' house, and she stops to greet Ben Stone, her boyfriend's younger brother (played by Luke Wilson), and the shot is just hilarious. There's a crystal chandelier hanging above her head, and the camera captures her face with a few dangling pieces of crystal just above her hairline-- it looks as though she's wearing a crown of ice. This is a subtle sight-gag, but the movie has plenty of them. It's like the DP (director of photography) is developing inside jokes with the audience, and I love that. * The Stones are the consummate family-- they communicate in quirky ways, and there are specific relationships between different members, and they all have different stories to tell, and different windows on the world. There is a fluency between the members, and it is interrupted by Meredith. There is a huge contrast between Meredith and the Stones', and it is shown in stomach-churning detail when Meredith tells the story of how she and Everett met. Her inability to tell a decent story is like nails on a chalkboard to the rest of the characters. That scene is excruciating to watch. But it sets up the main conflict. We begin to differentiate the priorities and values of the Stone family versus those of Meredith. I can't quite articulate this point, but the idea of fluency plays a role in the story. Conflict arises because Meredith can't speak the language of the Stone family, much like she doesn't understand the sign-language used whenever Thad is present in a scene. * There are thousands little flashes in the movie that are just breath-taking. I find new ones each time I see it. Claire Danes, as Julie, Meredith's sister, has one such moment when she raises one eyebrow in response to something happening to one of her hands [yep, for real...it's an archetype], and that eyebrow speaks volumes. Ty Giordano, as Thad, watches his brother Everett react to meeting Julie, and there's this quick moment where we see a flash of amusement in Thad's face. I noticed a new one when I watched the movie again tonight-- Sybil is taking a nap when her pregnant daughter, Susannah (a very talented-- and Michigan-born!-- Elisabeth Reaser) lays down next to her. It's a silent acknowlegement of a hard truth, and Sybil's tortured realization is written all over her face. We see Sybil grimace and blink hard, fighting back her demons, and then she turns to face her daughter with a calm and capable face. Diane Keaton is BRILLIANT. Rachel McAdams has several of these flashes, where she relies only on her gorgeous face to forward the story, and her portrayal of Amy Stone, the youngest sibling, is made all the richer for it. (McAdams seems on point to take up any mantle she chooses. I love that she chose this role, an immature and frosty little sister, and just acted the hell out of it. She carried The Notebook and could've held out for other plum roles. Instead, she was a smaller part of an ensemble, and showed she could support and keep up with a powerhouse like Lady Awesome Diane Keaton. Ballsy move, McAdams.) Hers is the last face we see, and it's the best kind of gut-punch. I am particularly drawn to Amy Stone because we're both the baby-girls of our families, and we're both smart-assses, and we're both still trying, with uneven success, to adjust to being adults. Shh. Of course, there are funny parts, and quotable parts, and pretty scenery, and there's the whole Christmas element to it, but these really play second-fiddle to the other elements that I've mentioned...at least, in my opinion. The best and most resonant movies in DanaLand are those that straddle the line between drama and comedy, where not everything turns out ideally, but the characters find a way to move forward despite obstacles. Plus, coming from a larger family and a very close network of friends, I identify with stories that address how a single person fits into a community of loved ones, and how one can carve out a life, not just a living. Anyway-- see this movie. If you've already seen it, watch it again. Watch it with your full attention and look for the details that I've mentioned. Think of it as a holiday gift from me to you!

Clearly, Dana's writing is grand. Me, not so much.

Oh, it also snowed on December 1st. I am taking this as an omen. I love snow. I love Christmas. I'm hoping this a great holiday season with much to be thankful for.

Turkey Day, Thanksgiving, whatever.

I am going to get right down to business with this blog. I am very disappointed with the Lions.

Dave and I were super pumped to see the Lions play the Patriots on Thanksgiving Day. The Lions game on Turkey Day is a HUGE deal in Detroit---The Parade, tailgating, crazy Pilgrim costumes, drunk fans---it is awesome. I went into the stadium thinking the Lions had a serious chance at beating Tom Brady's team. Going into the second half, my hopes continued. THEN, things started to go downhill. Fast. Well, two Patriots touchdowns, and one interception later, Dave and I called it quits. We left with 3:45 left in the game. I was pissed off, hungry, and annoyed. UGH. Not a happy camper.

Once again, the Lions totally let me down. It didn't help that they had several injuries affecting their playing roster. I make excuses because I can't muster the courage to say what everyone else is saying: They suck. THERE! I SAID IT! (I am hoping that Bill Cowher steps forward and says he wants to take on this team and turn it around. Mr. Keeble would argue with me on that one.)

Dave and I continued our tour of Detroit to enjoy a needed Thanksgiving feast, to put out our depressing "loss flames." We enjoyed a great meal at my Uncle Marty's house. Great apps, great potatoes, great conversation (thanks to zero discussion about the election). We then continued the tour to my Uncle Toby's to enjoy a much needed bowl of Grandma Mofo's stuffing. At Marty's, then prepare Paula's dad's stuffing----it is so good, but involves apples. Grandma's is the good stuff: pork, veal, bread. No monkey business. Clearly, she does NOT mess around. Good Canadian women don't mess around in the kitchen. Pork. That's all I'm going to say.

Thanksgiving was a great way to kick off the hallerday (holiday) season---I look forward to decorating the house, watching bad Christmas movies, and lots of baking (and more Lions losses).

Happy Thanksgiving. Oh, one more thing: I'm pregnant.

Seriously?!?! Another Loss?!?!?!

The Detroit Lions. Let's discuss:

For a long time I've listened to nay-sayers talk smack about the great city of Detroit and their football team. I've been patient, I've been considerate, and I've been supportive of The Pride. However, the tide might be turning. I've been ridiculed enough----Honestly, the Lions do suck. I know this. I never wanted to believe what national newspapers were saying, or the dudes on Sportscenter. But, I'm starting to believe now. They suck. Their coach sucks. I'm beginning to think Matt Stafford may be hype---he's been hurt most of the season. The back up is hurt, and the back up to the back up has tried his darndest. Well, apparently, it's not good enough. It's just plain sad.

Detroit has been a city of folks that has been supportive of their sport teams---we have much to celebrate with the Red Wings. They are one of the winningest teams in NHL history. The Detroit Tigers are one of the oldest teams in baseball (even though they haven't won the pennant since '84). The Pistons put Detroit back on the map a few years ago---they may have another slump this year, but they surely aren't the Lions. I've just now realized what it feels like to be embarrassed by a football team I root for.

Dave and I are attending the annual Thankgsgiving Day game at Ford Field. The Lions will be playing the New England Patriots, a powerhouse team led by a Wolverine (Go Blue!). Kid Rock is playing at halftime. I'm hoping I don't start puking into my own lap before halftime looking at the scoreboard. I pray for miracles every day and a Lions win on Thanksgiving might have to be one.

www.prideofdetroit.com

JV/Varsity Engagement

Not only does the Hallerday (Holiday) season bring about festive decor and fantastic cooking, it also spawns lucky-in-love couples to get engaged.........SO, I am celebrating the first engagement of the season:
Katie Whorf (J.V. Doctor extraordinaire) and Dr. Kevin Malloy (Washington, D.C.'s version of Alex Kurev, Varsity Emergency Room Physician)!
Katie and Kevin are a match made in Hosptial Heaven.....they love to cook, travel, spend time with friends....AND, they will produce brilliantly intelligent children.
Needless to say, the Norton Clan is very happy for them. Kevin will be attending the Annual Monforton Shitshow at Casa Mofo this year. He is currently doing some extra stretching, brushing up on his 80/90's pop culture, and lifting weights to prepare for the onslaught of medical questions, and possible political conversation. I wish him luck, even though he won't need it. He's a doctor for God's sakes. Doug will be ever impressed.
Katie has been a surrogate sister/daughter for the Mofo's for some time now. I'm so happy that she has found her Dr. Prince Charming, especially on the heels of Kate and William's engagement.
I am hoping Joey will gladly approve Kevin's invitation into the Circle of Trust/TeeShirt Gift Exchange on Christmas Eve. Joey has full veto powers, as he has turned down several folks in the past. HOWEVER, I will surely lobby on Kevin's behalf to expedite this process.
Cheers and Happy Engagement to Kevin and Katie!

Baby It's Cold Outside

Cue the bells.......sound the trumpets........put away those open toe shoes........it's that time of year again..........CHRISTMAS! I love Christmas! (Not so much in celebration of the birth of Christ, but rather the gaudy sweaters, cheesy movies, amazing baked goods, and fantastic decorations.)

Yesterday, I awoke to a nice layer of frost on the lawn, an icy windshield, and slippery steps. Winter is approaching. That can only mean two things for me: More clothing, and snow. Loves it.

I wait patiently each year after fall for the slow and steady approach of "the Hallerdays. Yes, Hallerdays." This time is marked with all of the Mofo herd coming home to good ol' Deh-twah, Mom's beef barley soup, and Dad getting pissed off about "the damn weather." I love it. I will get to see my brother, Joey, for a full week this year with his new wifey, Kelly (who kicks so much ass, it's not even funny). Last year we all made it home before Christmas for some quality time together----this usually entails minor screaming fits about who made a mess, who is making dinner, and what sports event to watch on television. Most of our stress subsides after the 8 o'clock hour, when it is time for cheesy Christmas features such as "The Christmas Gift" starring John Denver, or a Mofo favorite, "Elf." ("Buddy the Elf, what's your favorite color?")

Beans and Biscuit will be making their lists in the next week for Santa Claus to review. Hopefully this year Beans will not ask for her little sissy to be sent back to FedEx in the hopes of a new nest or a large bag of raw cow femur sections.

Dave will be utilizing the ladder to today, as he will be directed by me to hang a beautifully designed light installation to help Santa find his way to our house. Beans and Biscuit are of no help. I plan on using all white lights for that fresh, crisp, Martha Stewart look. I'll save the blinky, flashy, colored, mixed bulb look for our children in future years. Once kids arrive, it is TOTALLY ACCEPTABLE to create an alien landing pad with Christmas lights, ala' Clark Grizwald style. I've discussed this at length with Dave, and he agrees. No time for those shenanigans this year.

On a brighter note, the prospect of purchasing a newer vehicle is dawning. Dave's Nissan sucks and with the winter approaching, I don't like to take chances. At this time, I'd like my blog readers to think happy thoughts about the prospect of a winning lottery ticket for me. This would furnish us with a newer whip, a new kitchen, and payment of my newly issued speeding ticket from Fort Wayne last week. Amen.

Monforton-Nortonism of the Day: When folks are sporting down coats and gloves, it really is time to put away the open toe espadrilles. I don't have time for that look, nor does it look good. Also, just because there is roadkill on 37, it does not give drivers the right to slow way down----the animals are already dead.

Happy Holidays!

Cancer Sucks.

I went to visit my friend Kady's mom today at University Hospital. She had a double mastectomy after bravely battling breast cancer this year. Mrs. Clevenger looked great! After major surgery, she was upbeat and incredibly kind. I had never met Kady's mom, but I thought it was appropriate to offer my support since Kady is in Michigan (and I'm in Indiana).

I've decided that cancer officially sucks. After seeing first hand how physically challenging it is to deal with, I've had enough. Supporting causes that are working to find a cure for breast cancer is now at the top of my charity list. (The Humane Society and independent dog rescues are now at #2 and #3.)

Shirlee Clevenger, you are a brave lady. Keep up the fight. The Norton clan supports you!

For more information about breast and gynecological cancers:
www.savethetatas.com
www.komen.org
www.wcn.org

Detroit, what.

I made a trip home this weekend to enjoy the company of my family, including Dr. Katie Whorf. Katie is finishing her final year of medical school at George Washington University and is hoping for a rockin' OB/GYN placement for the summer. She is going to be an amazing doctor.

I had a great dinner at Katie's mom's house in Keego Harbor. The house has this amazing effect on people----its like being Up North. Love it. It is even better in the winter. Snow, great conversation, Van Morrison on the radio, wine, sweatpants....it brings warmth to my heart.

I also spent some time with my Pepe (grandfather). We usually meet at his house in Grosse Pointe and head down to the Eastern Market, a weekend favorite. Several bags of produce later, we head over to Louie's for breakfast. A very nice Albanian man, Mark, owns it. He is what the American dream really is----came here, started a business from the ground up and now is a successful restaurant owner. Louie's is a Detroit institution. Great food, great people.
After breakfast, Pepe decided we were going to take a different route to get back home, heading through "the ol' neighborhood." My dad grew up on the East side of Detroit, near Chandler Park. He attended St. Ignatius for grade school and then went on the Austin Catholic for high school. Sadly, they are both closed now. Driving down his old street, it became very apparent how desperate and sad the city of Detroit really is. My Pepe said he would never take my grandmother down Corbett Ave., knowing she'd cry at the sight of the burned down or boarded up houses. In the early fifties, the East side was a great place to raise a family. Safe streets, great neighbors. These days, one would not dare drive down these streets. It was really hard to look at his face as he passed by houses he once knew-----now, the street numbers hang off the facade, windows are broken, garbage in the driveways. It was really sad. I started to think about my own feelings of Detroit, which I still consider my hometown. While I spent most of my childhood north of the city, I was born on the East side--St. John's Hospital. I am proud of my Mack and Outer Drive address. I get warm and fuzzy reliving my childhood listening to Tiger games on the radio announced by Ernie Harwell. I remember going to Belle Isle to feed the ducks, and summers spent attending the Boat Races on The River. Today, the economy, the Lions, and bad press aren't helping the situation. However, I still believe in a city that once was. I pray everyday that the leaders of Detroit will get their act together, putting their agendas aside to rebuild a city that used to be a beacon for business and culture.

No likey computer virus

I hate my computer! It has a virus. I blame LimeWire. I am only able to blog when Dave brings his work computer home, so here we go. Let's do a post game wrap-up of the week:

1. Cold weather brings warm clothing. Only a moron would sport a tank top/jean short ensemble when its 25 degrees outside. On the west side of Bloomington, this is the fashion. I saw two douchebags yesterday trying to pull this look off----apparently, they didn't get the memo. Idiots.
2. We've had a special visitor for the last few days: Wrigley Miskewycz. She is a 7 year old yellow lab who is so sweet. She loves Beans and is not too fond of Biscuit. Biscuit tried to herd her---Wrigs no likey. Sadly, she goes back to her real family tonight. She has very soft ears and that is all that matters.
3. I started cleaning out the basement. I have discovered a wealth of bags---book bags, cosmetic bags, tote bags, soccer bags----I have NO idea where they came from. Goodwill should be happy with our projected donation.
4. T-minus 18 days til Thanksgiving. You know what that means? Lions football, Grandma Monforton's stuffing, and Ohana time.
5. Together with almost 50% of my Marian teaching class, we came together at Champps to celebrate 5 years of success/distress from our various teaching experiences. Only about 5 out of 14 of us are teaching. Sad. It was great to see everyone---it was nice to know no one has changed. I definitely missed Brad's laugh----it was really great seeing everyone.

Monfortonism of the Day: Just when the weekend couldn't get better, it can. Michael Vick will hopefully get his sh*t handed to him by Peyton Manning----this would make for a GREAT Sunday. I hate Michael Vick. He hurts puppies. The Colts defensive line better bring the fury and thunder.

BOO!

Happy Halloween!

Dave and I did start our Halloween a bit early---we attended the I.U./Northwestern football game on Saturday. We were scared by how bad the I.U. defense really is------I was excited to sport a super tacky I.U. hat and an awesome red and white striped scarf (compliments of Darien Miskowycz's Baba)----

This morning, Sunday, I needed to start scaring myself early so I turned on The Haunted bright and early (after an 11 hour sleep). The Haunted is featured on Animal Planet which is a bit strange, but I guess animals are super sensitive to paranormal activity so it would be only fitting to have it on Animal Planet. Most of the episodes I saw this morning involved a spirit affecting animals in a residence. I felt better knowing my little Reanie Beans and Bisco were nearby in case of a potential haunting. Sometimes they scare the crap out of me when they start barking in the middle of the night. But then again, I'm thankful Beans has a nasty bark which will surely scare away any intruder/trashy neighbor.

We are going to pass out candy at our friend's house tonight---we have lived in our house for 3 years and have yet to have ONE trick or treater. Sad.

Monfortonism of the Day: After college, dressing like a nurse (whore) is totally inappropriate unless it is amateur night at the local strip club.

Hocking Hills

It has been over a week since my last post. SORRY! Dave and I enjoyed a great vacation to the Hocking Hills of Ohio. It was a great trip. Dave's parents accompanied us. Lots of hiking, lots of biking, and several creepy houses. We stayed in an old pastor's house next to a church erected in 1846. With an early 1800's cemetery just 200 yards away, there were moments when I thought I was on Ghost Hunters. We visited 3 different state parks---all with different physical features. We were located just 20 miles south of Athens, home to Ohio University. I would highly recommend a visit to this beautiful part of the Midwest.

**FYI, the Hocking Hills are also located in the poorest part of Ohio. Just 45 miles west of the West Virginia border, there are clear remnants of a broke-down mining industry. True poverty was evident in these parts, though every person we met was very nice. Tourism now drives their economy.

Pictures to come when my virus infested computer gets its act together.

The Name Game

Dear blob readers,
Please stop naming your offspring horrible names----it isn't cool to name your child after the city they were conceived in, a feeling/state of mind, or the bridging of two totally different names. Case in point: I had a doctor's appt. the other day. Nothing special. However, whenever I glanced at some promotional material at the front counter, I noticed her name was Indy. Yes, her parents named her after a city---not something fancy like London, Paris, or Milan....INDY. Give me a break. She is a great physician, but c'mon.

Furthermore, as an educator, I can honestly say I've heard pretty much every name in the book.

Don't get creative, get smart.

What if your offspring wants to run for office? Start a legal practice? Be a prominent researcher/professor? We are trying to keep these girls OFF the pole....
I'm just saying.....

Monfortonism of the day: Listening to the Wu-Tang Clan always will lift low spirits. Allow yourself to be attacked by Killa Bees.

A case of the Mondays

I received saddening news from a co-worker today. Her husband was diagnosed with some pretty rotten cancer-----He's never smoked, drank, inhaled asbestos.....it really doesn't make sense to me. (Not that it ever does.) I felt sad and scared for her----

Two years ago we went through this with Dana. It is terrifying. If you read this blog, take a few moments and send positive energy their way.....

On a brighter note, it felt like fall today AND Beans did not bite any other dogs on her walk today. Things are looking up......time to prepare for Dancing with the Stars.

If you provided childcare in the greater Detroit area, contact me. My pal Kady needs a babysitter for her rockstar son, Jack. He is super cool, he smells nice, and likes to tear paper. (He is kinda like a puppy, but better.)

Sicky Pow-Pow

I think my computer has a virus. My post will be short.

There is nothing like waking up on a sunny Sunday morning, turning on the tube and the newest Warren Miller movie is on. Basically, it was like Christmas.

I miss skiing.

It is hard to live in a state where folks complain about 2 inches of snow, especially since I pray for it every day.

Thiiiirrrrrssssday

Thirs are the small hairs/spikes/furs that protrude from both Beans and Biscuits' bodies. I (we) call them thirs because they aren't just "dog hair," but rather, small pieces of magic that decorate our house/clothes/cars/lawn/etc. After a nice ear rub atop our nice coach, a "deposit" is usually left. Very magical.

Tonight's episode of Grey's Anatomy is making me want to puke. NO ONE WANTS TO SEE WARTS ALL OVER SOMEONE'S BODY. GOOD GOD.

I attended a meeting tonight for my second job: tutoring. I think as professionals, it is usually understood that one must:
1) be punctual, not 45 minutes late and sit in the front row
2) change cell phones to silent instead of letting them ring 4 times, then adjust the phone
3)when introducing one's self, speak up so everyone can hear you
4)not walk out with 3 extra water bottles so you don't suffer from thirst during your 10 minute car ride home
5)wear deodorant and pop in a mint. Good God.

Monfortonism of the Day: Apparently to be featured on an MTV reality show, your I.Q. must NOT exceed 34, and you must have fake breasts and a tribal band tattoo.

Great Lakes, Great Times

I enjoyed a glorious weekend with my entire Ohana. It is always great when my brother Joey comes home from California. Sadly, his wifey Kelly had to stay in San Fran for work. She's trying to "stick it to the man" as a high powered attorney. Go Kelly.

My weekend began at Nemo's, a Detroit sports staple. Located at the center of Corktown, just east of the Train Station, you can find THE BEST BURGER IN DETROIT. I opted for a turkey burger, knowing I was going to eat like a horse later in the day. Chatter usually revolves around Red Wing hockey, Tiger baseball, and how bad the economy is-----nevertheless, I miss Nemo's and all of its glory when I'm in Bloomington. My Pepe (grandfather) is found there every Friday....corner table.....bowl of soup......diet soda......good stuff.

Jennie and I then ventured to the old Train Station to take some pictures. The old terminal is a hot button in Detroit. Once a glorious architectural structure, it now basically stands in ruins. Sadly, it is very symbolic of the downturn in Michigan. A beacon during the "hay-day" of Detroit, now it is an eye sore for visitors and residents.

Lots of walks with Jennie's dog, Kasia, and several naps later, Lions Sunday had approached! Dana, Joey and I tailgated at the Eastern Market witnessing the true glory of die hard Lions fans. It was frigging awesome. We had incredible seats. There was a douchbag Rams fan sitting next to us. Thankfully after three Lions touchdowns, he finally shut up. It was awesome.

Three days later, I am finally caught up with my life in Bloomington----Dane re-sided our garage with his parents. It looks great. I finally feel like our house is looking like a home.

Pollo e' Frijoles?

Beans is preparing for the Halloween season. What goes better with beans than eggs? Her little sissy, Biscuit, was helping to secure her headdress.

More Pirate's Booty and Mi Familia

I am snacking on Pirate's Booty right now! It is so delicious as I crunch my way through a quarter of the bag in one sitting......outstanding.

On a different note, I was doing some research on the Internet today in the hopes of bridging the gap in the Monforton Family history books. Apparently the Monforton name is that of one family---there is a portion of the family in Montana (Monforton Elementary). The majority seems to be in lower Ontario, Canada or the Detroit area. There are two specific Facebook pages dedicated to the Monforton Clan. It is pretty interesting. I think my second cousin, once removed, has some of the genealogy complete all the way back to 1779. I know there were Monfortons present during the French occupation/presence at Fort Mackinaw. To sum up, I have a ton of relatives I don't know and the family has been around a while.

Monfortonism of the Day: If someone can smell you all the way down the hallway (a high school hallway), CLEARLY, you need to lay off the Britney Spears' Fantasy perfume.

Pirate's Booty

AAARRRRR!!!! Shiver me timbers! I am in love with Pirate's Booty. It is by far the best salty/crunchy snack I have ever consumed. I have found it to be more addicting than sweatpants. (I know! I never thought it could ever happen!) I highly recommend trying some out.....TODAY!

It also helps relieve headaches, heartburn, nausea and other symptoms that resemble a hangover.

Cheers!

Monfortonism of the Day: Never trust a lady with fingernails longer than a house key.

Football Fun for Everyone

I experienced my very first Big Ten tailgate this weekend. Dave and I were graciously invited to attend in anticipation of a big Indiana University win over the University of Michigan Wolverines (Go Blue!). I was super excited and could not wait to see some serious corn hole, football tossing, tree-peeing, side-of-the-car puking. (I did not see any puking, but lots of angry sorostitutes with Wellie boots, side ponytails, and black leggings.)

We came a bit late to the pre-game tailgate ritual that takes place on "The Meadow," which is located on the west side of the stadium. Holy Hoosiers-----cars, flags, beer cans....it was awesome.
**Side note: The only "real" tailgate I've experienced before this was two Notre Dame/Navy games. While it was awesome to be in the ND parking lot, the Meadow at I.U. tops the blacktop.

I ran into a fellow SJC alum, Mr. Michael Field and his little boy, Wyatt. That was pretty awesome. Turns out he and his wife live about 15 minutes from us. It is nice to know a fellow Puma is not too far away.

I encountered lots of confident Michigan fans--I greeted them with smiles and high fives. I was sure not to wear any Hoosier wear, not wanting to discount or let down my fellow Michiganders (my sister-in-law, Kelly). I did wear a Tony Clark tee-shirt underneath my coat, so I did feel some connection to U of M. I wore a red Canada hat, so I looked somewhat like an Indiana fan. Who am I kidding?

I had a great time......

Food for Thought

A few things to think about during this lovely fall weekend.....

1. Driving a junky car with Monster energy drink and Nascar stickers all over it does NOT make it faster or cooler, especially on IN-37.
2. Dried coyote urine pellets may ward off small pests, but it sure as HELL smells like barnyard private parts.
3. Jimmy Fallon and Justin Timberlake's "History of Rap" is possibly the funniest thing I've seen on television for a while.
http://www.latenightwithjimmyfallon.com/video/a-history-of-rap-jimmy-fallon-justin-timberlake-&-the-roots/1252017
4. Tee-shirts that expose one's mid section, as it flows over one's belt much like a frosting over a cupcake, is NOT attractive. It is time for a larger tee-shirt.
5. The People's History of the United States by David Zinn is the best book I've read in a while.
6. Stepping in dog poop soaked by a hose for hours is funny, just not when it happens to me.
7. Go BLUE! (I will be tail-gating for the first time this weekend against Michigan on Indiana's stomping ground. No likey.)

Rock it 'til the wheels fall off

After a LOOOOOONNNNNNNGGGGG vacation from working out, I have to decided to re-attach the wheels. Last year, I participated in "The Biggest Loser" challenge at So Be Fit personal training in Broad Ripple. Sadly, I only lost 7.3 pounds after 12 weeks of 6-day workouts, 1500 calorie days, and lots of chafing. My clothes did fit differently and I felt stronger, but I was hoping for a higher number of L.B.Z.'s lost. I am approaching this next attempt at weight loss with a better game plan. Here it goes:

Four days a week at the gym
No more than 40 minutes of cardio with each gym session
MORE STRETCHING

While my new commitment to fitness excellence does not necessarily have a pound-lost-number, my goal is still the same: Drop a pants size.

So, here we go. Wish me luck. If you would like to join me on my quest for physical perfection, go right ahead. My push in the gym will include LOTS of Van Halen, Flock of Seagulls, Runner's Glide, my size 7 Nike Lunarfly sneakers, and my trusty 1995 insulated squirt bottle.

**Warning: Working out at Cardinal Fitness in Bloomington is NOT apart of this fitness quotient. I don't need to see a bunch of sorostitutes on their IPhones, wearing leggings, side ponytails, off the shoulder tee-shirts, and brand new Shox OR skinny-fat meat heads that hog the Smith Machine. My pursuit of excellence will be taking place at a new location: Twin Lakes Recreation Center. I need all the middle age support I can get.
YouTube - Van Halen - Dreams: "- Sent using Google Toolbar"

Four Legged Prozac

Trying to keep things light, I have found peer recommended websites a must on this blog. I often try to keep up with my friend Kady's blog, which indefinitely helped illustrate her coupon obsession. Well, I am about to unlock my pandora's box:

PUPPIES!

Whenever I am sad, bored, angry, depressed, scared, anxious, etc., I have a small collection of puppy websites I visit. I refer to these sites as "porn porn," as it often results in several minutes NOT doing what I am suppose to be doing. I invite my blog followers to take a few minutes, step away from Excel long enough to enjoy a four legged friend peering through your computer screen:

www.adoptapet.com
www.petfinder.com
www.dailypuppy.com
www.puppyfind.com

WARNING: Images posted on these websites may result in an adoption of a new four-legged offspring. NAVIGATE AT YOUR OWN RISK.

Let's try this again.....

So it has been a while since I did the blogging thing. I found it to be too much when I initially started. After much reflection, I am going to take a stab it is again. I want to keep things light and funny. I love following my friends' blogs, they are truly the highlight of my day. I am hoping to have the same effect.

A few updates.....
Dave got a job! He is working as an analyst at Cook Medical. I am thankful everyday that he has found something that he loves. There is a bonus: He plays on the Cook softball team, "There ain't nuthin' like playin' under them lights!" I suppose this is Bloomington's corporate version of 'Friday Night Lights.'

I have a new position with Indianapolis Public Schools. I am supporting the School Improvement Team with data collection for Language Arts and Math. I enjoy all of the new teachers I have met and look forward to learning more about the process.

Beans just celebrated a birthday. Our little princess is 6 years old. Biscuit is no longer a puppy, sporting her two year old muscles.